Here’s a new theological question I’d like to hurl into cyberspace:

What exactly was Moses tripping on while hallucinating that he was parting the Red Sea?

After all, Benny Shanon, who teaches cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, theorizes in the journal of philosophy, Time And Mind, that Moses was simultaneously high on Mount Sinai and psychedelics when he heard God delivering the Ten Commandments.

"The thunder, lightning and blaring of a trumpet which the Book of Exodus says emanated from Mount Sinai could just have been the imaginings of a people in an altered state of awareness," he writes.

"In advanced forms of ayahuasca inebriation, the seeing of light is accompanied by profound religious and spiritual feelings."

Concoctions based on the bark of the acacia tree, which is frequently mentioned in the Bible, contain the same molecules as those found in the vines of the powerful psychotropic plant from which the liquid ayahuasca is prepared.

Last week Professor Shanon--who has himself ingested ayahuasca during a religious ceremony in Brazil’s Amazon forest--suggested on Israeli public radio that Moses was also on drugs when he saw the Burning Bush.

My friend Steve Hager, editor-in-chief of High Times magazine, told me, "I’ve long believed the Burning Bush story was about cannabis, and that is what most Rastafarians believe. When the New Testament was constructed by the Roman Empire, all references to psychedelics and cannabis may have been removed, because those were probably considered secrets for an elite priest class. The only references that survive are from the Old Testament (Kanehbosem, burning bush), which was already published and not under their control."

Aided by this new perspective, then, let us step into the time machine and travel to ancient civilizations and witness certain aspects of religion as history instead of a fairy tale.

Here we see Jesus and his disciples in the midst of an Ecstasy party, embracing each other as they slow-dance to the music of Mistress Magdalene and the Merry Maidens. Oh, look, Judas is French-kissing Jesus.

Going further back in time, we find Joseph plucking the magic mushrooms out of a pile of his donkey’s manure, and then sharing them with the dove that somehow impregnated his wife, the one and only Virgin Mary.

Even further back, we come upon Moses, thoroughly stoned on the DMT that he has been snorting as he begins to set the original Ten Commandments in stone:

"Thou shalt not bogart that joint."

"Thou shalt not dose anyone with acid."

"Thou shalt not step on cocaine with baby powder."

"Thou shalt not watch TV while using mescaline."

"Thou shalt not steal from thy parents’ prescription medicines."

Moses stops to check his spelling and speak to God: "Some day, oh Lord, these commandments will be posted on every citizen’s door."

Paul Krassner's underground magazine The Realist attracted a large counterculture following in the '60s and '70s. He is a founding member of the Yippies. He is the author of One Hand Jerking: Reports From an Investigative Satirist, and publisher of the Disneyland Memorial Orgy poster, both available at paulkrassner.com. This is his second blog post for Arthur Magazine.