Surely even today's hip-hop fans have time for the Von Trapp clan? Sampling opportunities abound, from elaborate vocal wonders taken from The Sound of Music soundtrack to various albums released through the years by members of this illustrious Austrian family. Oom-pah!

On Snow--New Songs Of The Season, the great-grandchildren of Captain von Trapp and the family clan tackle a new collection of songs custom tailored for the holiday season. Look at it this way: You don't have to suffer through the horrible acting of The Sound Of Music, or even the mildly shielded love affair between the then still virginal Julie Andrews (playing the nanny, incredible voice, even better gams) and the family's anti-Nazi though militaristic father. Ahh, the rose colored glasses of history, all that hearty family cheer and ominous warning signs (we're talking Aryan family values) serenely blanketed in Technicolor visions of a glorious fatherland!

In years to come Snow, with its splendid harmonies and rich family history, might be ranked up there with similarly happy albums from The Shaggs or Wild Man Fisher. It's that good. Oom-pah!

The von Trapp Children
"Snow" (mp3)
from "Snow - New Songs of the Season"
(IMI)

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The von Trapp Children
"Blow, Little Trumpeter, Blow" (mp3)
from "Snow - New Songs of the Season"
(IMI)

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The von Trapp Children
"The Gift of Love" (mp3)
from "Snow - New Songs of the Season"
(IMI)

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Now for something really different: Christmas classics performed on everyday power tools? What? No weird sex toys or electronic gizmos, just ordinary power tools? Black and Decker must have a hand in this album, but Woody Phillips' A Toolbox Christmas delivers a real bumping and grinding good Christmas time--in the literal sense.

From the liner notes: "Never before have your ears experienced the exquisite marimba-like 2x4's in 'Jingle Bells'; the majestic table saw duet in 'Joy To The World'; the sensitive counterpoint provided by the power planer in 'I Saw Three Ships'; the filigreed ornamentation of the clanking pipes in 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas'; the uniquely persuasive percussion of the pneumatic nailer in 'Patapan'; the panoply of hand and power tools in 'The Twelve Days Of Christmas'--listen and you'll know you're in a new and extraordinary realm of holiday music."

Pneumatic nailer? Power planer counterpoint? Someone find these people a copywriter. Anyway, Phillips doesn't stop at simple power tools ambience--the guy wants to drag you into his little shop of Christmas horrors full bore, right down to the sawdust clogging up your nose. You'll hear the sounds of a tape measure retracting; duct tape tearing; the little ball-bearing-rolling-around-sounds as the spray paint can is shaken. Like Spike Jones, Woody Phillips never saw a saw he didn't secretly desire. Thank god for the Phillips head screwdriver and this charming rendition of "The Twelve Days Of Christmas," complete with farting tape sounds, clacking hammers and singing saws.  

Woody Phillips
"The Twelve Days Of Christmas" (mp3)
from "A Toolbox Christmas"
(Gourd Music)

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