Metallica, Framed
Longtime readers of the rock press may recall that this blog met Metallica way back in the day, long before they became peevish and crotchety. They were opening a Detroit-area show for W.A.S.P., a hair metal band whose very existence has since been wiped from human memory. We don't really remember very well because we got drunk with Blackie Lawless, but we're sure they were outstanding.
That was over 20 years ago, and no one's happier than Framed that Metallica now has the #1 album in the United States. Their astonishing Death Magnetic--certainly the finest record released in the last five or six weeks!--grabbed America's imagination and actually made its chart debut at #1. Mister, that's a low number!
To help celebrate, this week's Framed is all about their last album, St. Anger, a much-overlooked disc that...are we missing something here?...also debuted at #1. Well, we'll look into it.
This week's vid, the title track off St. Anger, was shot at California's San Quentin State Prison, site of the state's only death row. Groovy. As you'll see, the prisoners are incredibly excited that Metallica, or anyone, has even the vaguest interest in their miserable fates. Those crazy prisoners!
Of course, the only real crime here would be in not posting your deepest thoughts about Metallica and the St. Anger video! And if you'd like to comment on our wry captions, that would be welcome, too! So step right up and enjoy Framed, The Blog That Likes You and Only You.
1 - "Now, hold on there, men. You don't rush the Annual Naked Race."
2 - San Quentin's 100-foot-guards eventually learn to regard the men as, simply, tiny mischief-makers.
3 - "And if you're a good mouse, a super-powered mouse that extends my life forever, then of course you get the crumb of cheese."
4 - It's unusual that the arm gets a much harsher sentence than the rest of the body, but it does happen.
5 - "Man, nothing smells better than the smell of men convicted for economic crimes that hurt no one."
6 - The Jonas Brothers continue to be a powerful draw everywhere!
7 - As readers can see, Metallica wisely "bulked up" just in case their guitars instantaneously and inexplicably weighed thousands of pounds!
8 - "Maybe President Bartlett will extend a White House invite now!"
9 - "Let's see. How's this work? Oh, I know! God, magically give me a better life than the one I built for myself. Pretty please. I love you and all the gods, thank you very much."
10 - "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. So...low five!"
11 - "Holy smokes! The white cracker woman actually is running for Vice President!
12 -"Sure" is still giving powerful all-day protection you can trust!
