Disposable Band Members
You see them all the time. Only you forget. These are the dudes whose names you never remember. The ones you've met ten times before, yet you always introduce yourself as if you're meeting for the first time. They are forgettable. They blend into the background.
They appear most often at concerts. Not in the audience but onstage. Band members you never look at. NEVER. They include that bass player who could drop dead during the show, get dragged off and replaced with a roadie, and you'd never know. Tell me the drummer's name in Queen. Thought so. Culture Club's bass player? Yup. Name anyone in Hootie & the Blowfish. Uh-huh.
I'm not knocking anyone's musical talent, but facts are facts. Certain folks are lucky to have a job at all. If there's a fire, the lead singer will get carried out first. These guys may go down with the building.
Here are the most disposable of the disposable. I hope they saved all that tour money.
COUNTING CROWS
I have a theory about bands: Once you have more than four members, no one cares. The emotional attachment is lost; there's just too many people to follow. Counting Crows have this problem. There's Adam Duritz (you may not even know him; he's the singer with the white-guy dreadlocks), and then there's the other guys. As long as Duritz shows up, the show goes on.
ANDREW RIDGELEY (of Wham!)
This is when you know you're disposable. You're in a duo called Wham!. Then a song you co-wrote ("Careless Whisper") is released as a U.K. single under the name "George Michael," your more popular partner. Just so you don't feel bad, it's released in the U.S. as "Wham! featuring George Michael." A few years later you pick up a copy of Michael's solo debut, "Faith," at the record store that used to carry Wham!. Damn.
COLDPLAY
They have four members, but they might as well have ten. Does anyone care who backs Chris Martin? As long as someone's playing some U2-lite guitar and everyone has color-coded outfits, I don't think anyone will think twice.
LINDA McCARTNEY
You have to admire Paul and Linda McCartney's relationship. They're one of the few fairy-tale romances in rock. And Sir Paul certainly hasn't found a better match since her 1998 death. However, no one would argue that Linda was the cornerstone of Paul's post-Beatles band, Wings. Good wife, not-so-good singer.
MARLON JACKSON (of the Jackson 5)
Someone please tell me what Marlon does. Someone please tell me who Marlon IS. Oh yeah, he plays percussion. As long as there's five Jacksons onstage, does it matter if Marlon's among them?
10,000 MANIACS
Natalie Merchant left these guys in 1993. During her tenure, they sold millions of albums and toured the world. Since she left they've played the Jamestown, New York, Christmas parade.
TABOO (of Black Eyed Peas)
When I think of Black Eyed Peas, I think of will.i.am, Fergie, and a couple other multicutural dudes keeping it real and 21st century. Just a couple. Any ethnicity, any people. Just as long as will and Fergie show up.
JEROME BENTON (of The Time)
Jerome's not even a band member, he's a valet. Yeah, it's a nice perk, but as long as someone's up there doing "The Bird" with Morris Day, does it matter if he's holding a mirror? On second thought, maybe. Jerome is pretty cool. OK, scratch this one.
JOEY KRAMER (of Aerosmith)
It took me a half-hour just to find an image of Aerosmith's drummer. I think more people would care if Steven Tyler's mic stand lost its scarves.
CLARENCE CLEMONS (of The E Street Band)
This one's tough to admit. Clemons is to Springsteen what Robin is to Batman. For over 35 years the Big Man and the Boss have created one of the great mythical rock relationships. But now the Big Man isn't so big. He's 67 years old, he's endured two hip replacements, and he just looks tired. Clemons isn't so much disposable as he is a distraction. Will he make it through the "Born to Run" solo? Can't someone give him anything else to do except hit that tambourine? I honestly don't know who else could do the job, but it's time to start thinking. There, I said it.


I'd add that drummer from Nirvana (U.S.) but I forgot his name.
AEROSMITH-ROCK ON!!!!
I thought that was really funny until I realized you didn't know Dave Grohl was the drummer of Nirvana.
Dave Grohl-founder of the Foo Fighters
Nove...something...
I didn't mean Grohl...everyone knows him...Geez...I knew I'd get a comment like that.
Kenney Jones, formerly of The Small Faces and the Faces, replaced Keith Moon.