Bye-Bye, Bling: A Recessionary Note to Rappers Everywhere

Posted Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:00am PDT by Shawn Amos in GetBack

Yo, my hip-hop brothers, some words of wisdom: these are hard times. Don’t know if you heard, but we’re in a recession. People are losing their homes. Folks’ retirement funds are tanking. People are pawning their jewelry for gas money.

It’s time to reel in the bling. The days of ’90s excess are over and out. All the gold ropes and gold teeth have got to go. You need to trade them in for cash and then hold on to it. Stuff it in those high-tops until the banks are safe again. No more shopping sprees. No more Hummers. No more Cristal. Back to basics, folks. You are not immune. Your record label could go belly-up like Lehman Brothers did, and you may find yourself standing behind Joe the Plumber at the check-cashing joint.

Yes, you’ve all come a long way from the days of Mr. T-level bling, but you’ve got many more miles to go. Pull off the gold chains and bring on the humility. Get yourself a Prius. Carpool to the next VH1 Rap Honors show. Recycle those kicks instead of tossing them after the first scuff mark. Yes we can, my hip-hop brothers. Yes we can.

Here are five of the worst offenders. I’m calling these folks out so they can step up and lead the way for the rest of the hip-hop nation. Do the right thing.

SLICK RICK

Slick never got the memo that not only are the '90s over but so are the '80s. He's the embodiment of hip hop excess (and bad behavior; the dude spent five years in prison for attempted murder). He's become a reformed citizen since his jail time but Slick Rick is still Bling Offender Number One.

PHARRELL WILLIAMS

My man from the Neptunes likes to brag about his Ferrari Enzo and his Mercedes SLR McLaren. Sure, he’s got a trucker cap to give him working-class cred, but he wears chains so big they threaten to knock him over.

T-PAIN

T-Pain’s got a grill full of metal and a big ol’ chain that could buy him 10 vocoder machines.

BIG BOI

He’s got a closet full of big minks and bug chains that need to go to the consignment store. While he’s at it, maybe he can persuade André to join him back in the studio.

LIL JON

His teeth alone could feed a middle-class family of five for a year. Jon, cash in the mouth metal and get some old-fashioned enamel caps. Do it quick while you still have your insurance plan. You can use the money to buy some clothes for the half-naked ladies in your videos.

FLAVOR FLAV

The granddaddy of bling. Yeah, the clock probably doesn’t cost much, but think of the statement it would make if Flavor started wearing a Casio. Besides, the news is so bad lately, who wants to know what time it is anyway?

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2320 Comments

61. Will - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:34pm PDT

This is a great article. "Get yourself a Prius" is a great line. Really, the government just doesn't want you to know how much those retard rappers are still getting paid. And I don't use the term "retard rappers" all-inclusively. Pharoahe Monch doesn't need any bling. Big L didn't need any bling. But the money some of those folks are making for producing awful music is a joke. That's America, that's the entertainment industry, I suppose. Peace.

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62. Yahoo! Music User - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

Nonsense!!! Whether gold chains are dope or not (I think they are), you obviously don't understand rap culture if you think they should put them away. Bling is recession-proof! While some people may be banging their heads about losing money in investments, others are saying "yo, look what I invested in - it hasn't lost any value".

63. James - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

It doesn't bother me. The one thing that I see everyone is doing they are judging these people. Let GOD handle that.

64. bigD d - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

they can buy what they want. Rappers careers tend to be much shorter than others of music industry like pop or country. They should be saving some. No. 17 on here said only million dollar homes are affected in this recession what a doomas. Chuck D has some substance. some these other idiots? they didnt coin the term ni**a rich for nothing.

65. juan antoniof - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

they have to show that stupid bling.
what else?
they are so ugly, because they are so ......?

66. DiamondDiva - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

I totally agree...those gold chains have been played out for sometime now. It really is a slap in the face being as though we are really in a recession and they are showing off...it is so tacky. And I'm not hatin' but it looks stupid. It's time for them to grow up and take that crap from around their neck and definetey out of their mouths...ill gross. Too much money and not enough class.

67. DiamondDiva - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:35pm PDT

68. Big Head! - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

This is my first time ever writing a comment on the web. Honestly I never cared enough about whatever anyone was griping or b!tch!ng about. I find it quite insulting for someone to even write, 'Yo, my hip hop brothers.' I can't tell you how corny and stupid it sounds. Just that intro and reading a little bit more aggrivates me. The only people I can think of the writes or talks like that is corny a$$ people TRYING to talk slang. Just give it up and just talk, type, text, express yourself in plain ENGLISH. It only makes you sound lame... except to another lame person that probably think you are talking cool or hip or whatever it is you were shooting for. Name one person that is the target of your jealousy actually wears high tops and wears gold or drinks Cristal. My opinion is that you are a wack a$$ person jealous of people with money. Here's a clue. No one wears high tops to be cool. No one wears gold. Try platinum. No one drinks Cristal anymore either. Go watch a fake, lame, wack movie directed by someone else like you and pretend it is even close to being real. Maybe I should put it into LAME so you could understand. Yo, Gee. Peep a flick from the hood and pretend you are down...Oh, yeah. Maybe I should have ended that with Bro or Dude or something wack like that. I'm pretty sure you can fill in the blank with some word just as corny as you are.

69. DerekD - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

As a reader, i thought the writer of this arcticle was very discriminating towards rappers when theres athletes,celebs and actors with $200-300,000 vehicles. yes,i agree, rappers nowadays arent sh** versus the 90s era, but there are many many more showboats out there other than rappers.

70. Reginald - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

Make it rain...

71. Henry A - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

this is like saying stop wearing your favorite shirt because others dont liek it.. rappers like wearing bling let themf uc kin wear it just cuz you dont have it doesnt mean they should its their money let them do whatever they want with it. and plus spending their money only stimulates the economy

72. eliasv - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

ok this is stupid everyone here is saying that the rappers should save their money and not spend so much. ok fine. but seriously these guys have people who show them how to spend their money. people tend to forget most of these guys have two or more extra homes. and i would not doubt if their money was in a swedish bank account. so their money and objects are more than safe. WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!!! if they want to blow it on dumb things let them go ahead they are adults and know right from wrong.

73. Ed - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:37pm PDT

think of how many rapper there wouldnt be if bling wasnt cool. goodbye to all of these guys and all those fake rappers out today. finally rap would boil down to the best ones speaking the true stuff...

74. MrMeTwo - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:38pm PDT

You do know gold was actually the most stable commodity in the market? It actually has gone up from $200 share to about $1000 a share in the past year(tho it has dropped down to nearly $800). Wouldn't it be smarter to keep your money in gold knowingly that the price will not drop like the dollar.

75. Yahoo! Music User - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

@Will

If its so easy to make big money from producing awful music then why don't you do it too and quit your complaining.

76. C.* - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

just wondering is anybody selling property in the HAMPTONS, is there and article about selling or trading in these million dollar YACHTS, what about the money some actresses are spending on these pissy lttle dog/ dog care but soon as the world get in a little problem here sombody go attacking rappers, is Jay Leno selling any cars, that he spent millions of dollars on (hell No)is any other high profle person doing anything to help anybody please let me know, write and article about that, is student loans getting any help (hell no)one more thing HATERS are the reason rappers have chains keep up the good work " NO ONE ON THE CORNER HAS SWAGGA LIKE US"

77. Yahoo! Music User - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

ick....i think that this so called "bling" is just tacky. Thanks for giving those rappers a newsflash!

78. "DPE inc." - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

you guys are idiots. the media follows celebrities with big money, big homes, big cars and big habbits... now, you say stop ONLY to the rappers? what about a ceo of a company? are they NOT to drive a limo to work? are they to buy a Honda instead of a benz? what about rock stars? they dont wear jewelry also? so only rappers? if you create a blog you need to be universal instead of singling out ONE race of people or ONE music genre. Thats like telling a rich guy to NOT act like they are rich because others are struggling... the rappers didnt cause the financial crisis so why would they have to submit to your requests? You wouldnt tell a person who make millions of dollars to act like they are not until the rest of the government catches up to them... just say that you dont like the jewelry dont blame it on the financial blunder that the government allowed to happen. You would not watch the stupid rap videos if they were not flashy, you would not be separated by class of who is a vip and who is not if they did not wear the jewelry, that would make them normal people and that AINT gonna happen. They will always find something to show there status... like white people move to better areas black people like to show off rims, cars and jewelry... i didnt say it was right... i think its stupid and I think its even more stupid when the poor people try to do things that rich people do like spinning hub caps or having silver instead of diamonds... or having swapmeet cloths vs designer authentic wear... its all fake to me. so you wear a 100k chain around your neck makes you better than me? well dumb groupie femeles like it and thats why they wear it. you dont see fortune 500 CEO's wearing stupid chains around there necks to prove that they are successful its an urban thing its not a symbol of success. its all vainity, but the same people claim that they are saved or god loves them. God dont love sin. God does not love a proud look or selfishness but thats all you see in the limelight... so how can God love that? God would be a liar if he did. jewelry just shows how insecure these entertainers are if you ask me. yes, I will buy a house and cars once i sell my screenplay... but I dont have to let everyone in the world know that i have money.

79. Southern - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

Mr. Amos, the Lehman Bros. might have went belly up, but their executive members still walked away with millions, but unfortunately instead of worrying about people that are robbing this country and getting wealthy, Mr. Amos, you would rather worry about rappers who don't force people to spend their money on their music. A rapper's financial status is based on a choice of the people. People should buy what they can afford and live inside their means. It's these RAPPERS who primarily are for higher taxes to go to help the needy although their industry is that of fickle and fleeting careers, while the people you don't write about forcing people into homelessness and joblessness so they can get and stay wealthy while simultaneously being vehemently against higher taxes because they only care about themselves. These RAPPERS have more charities than Bill Gates, Al Sharpton, and Oprah combined. I would like to know what your response is to the points that I have made, Mr. Amos.

80. Yahoo! Music User - Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:39pm PDT

Please!!! who cares what anybody wears today..And who's to say all that BLING is real, just because they pay thousands and millions for doesn't mean its real...Forget a recession.its called A SIGN OF THE TIMES..so go ahead with this wack A&& blog! lets us pray!!! So with that being said GOD Does not care what you wear is it a sin, my brothers and sister come as you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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