Great Moustaches of Rock
Moustaches are to rock what Stetsons are to country, and sporting one is a rock rite of passage. Just after a young rocker picks up his first guitar, plugs in his Marshall amp, and hits that power chord, the moustache arrives on cue. It signals his arrival into rock manhood. Bolder than a tattoo and studlier than a piercing, ’staches make rock great. Without them, it’s just prepubescent pap.
In honor of Movember (an annual November moustache-growing event to promote awareness of men’s health issues), we salute the iconic artists who have embraced the look over the years.
Below are the winners in our first annual GetBack Rock 'Stache Awards. And yes, we spell it the British way in tribute to the Beatles, those pioneers who inspired countless musicians to grow their own facial foliage.
THE BEATLES - 'STACHE PIONEER AWARD
Sgt. Pepper’s is often voted the best album of all time. You've heard the critics sing its praises for the last 100 years ad nauseam: it reinvented studio technology, stretched the limits of what a pop song can accomplish, blah, blah, blah. No one mentions its single greatest legacy: it marked the creation of the first moustache supergroup. Four dudes looking like trailer-park carnival operators on parole, a look that became one of the most influential in rock history.
JOHN OATES - LIFETIME 'STACHE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
John Oates is the granddaddy of moustachioed rockers. Yeah, it's not really rock he plays, but no one has dedicated as much of his life to the ’stache as John Oates. For nearly 20 years he risked ridicule and the ire of Daryl Hall to keep his lip covered. No one with a 'stache has sat at the top of the pop charts as long as Oates (he and Hall are the most successful duo in history; check out their recently released Live at the Troubadour to see why). Even though he recently shaved it, Oates still has a phantom one: for us it’s always there, even when it's not there.
FRANK ZAPPA – AVANT-GARDE 'STACHE AWARD
Zappa's was as impenetrable as his music — dense, mysterious, sometimes cruel, and loved by Germans. Walk through Berlin and you'll see legions of German Zappa-philes who swear allegiance to his music and try in vain to grow their facial hair as thick. Instead, they honor him with the soul patch that accompanied Zappa's 'stache under his lip. An artful touch.
JAMES HETFIELD - METAL 'STACHE AWARD
Metallica is not about the riffs or the punishing volume. It's all about Hetfield’s ’stache. It's what makes them mean and sinister. Now that's he's opted for goatee only, it's all gone downhill.
JIM CROCE - SENSITIVE 'STACHE AWARD
Jim Croce had the most ironic 'stache in music history. He was a former truck driver who smoked cigars, yet he sang sensitive songs about putting "Time in a Bottle." He proved that you shouldn’t judge a moustache by the lip on which it sits.
SONNY BONO - CHEESY 'STACHE AWARD
Sonny’s drooping one paved the way for Tony Orlando, Engelbert Humperdinck, and every cheesy lounge singer who ever put on a white tuxedo and found a long-legged woman to make him look good onstage.
FREDDIE MERCURY - GAY PRIDE 'STACHE AWARD
Queen's frontman gave a generation of gay men a reason to come out of the closet without shaving their upper lips. Mercury strutted and preened like a 'stached peacock. Plus, he took the look to new heights by adding the tight tank top. Let's see Paul Rodgers do THAT as he fronts Queen. I knew Freddie Mercury and his moustache, Paul Rogers. You, sir, are no Freddie Mercury.
BEN HARPER - SOUL 'STACHE AWARD
Harper echoes Marvin Gaye circa What's Going On with the facial hair he’s been sporting lately; his ’stache is tight and refined. Ben is the latest in a long line of soulful dudes who’ve gone with variations on the standard moustache. They range from the greasy soul 'stache (Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Prince) to the Black Power 'stache (Isley Brothers, Isaac Hayes) to the sexy midnight lover 'stache (Barry White, Keith Sweat).
KINGS OF LEON - NEWCOMER 'STACHE AWARD
This Nashville band channels the cookie dusters of such Southern rock greats as the Allman Brothers and the Marshall Tucker Band. We dig their early 'stache/long hair combo look. But now that the Kings are making their bid to become the next big mainstream thing, their hair is getting shorter and their upper lips are appearing naked more often than not. Remember the Beatles, boys. No one gets to the top without a 'stache.
SGT. FLOYD PEPPER - MUPPET 'STACHE AWARD
Everyone knows him as the bassist for the legendary Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem, but his wild orange ’stache takes the Beatles' influence to insane new levels. He wears the best handlebar in rock since the Doobies' Jeff "Skunk" Baxter.
Check out these award-winning moustaches in our Rock ’Stache FlipBook.
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