5 Reasons Why. . .Old School Music Train Wrecks Are Better Than New School Music Train Wrecks
Sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll. It's the ultimate combination...for mayhem. From the time Who drummer Keith Moon nearly blasted his bandmates to bits to the latest videotaped drug scandal involving Amy Winehouse, pop and rock stars have been making a spectacle of themselves for more than 50 years, and we love it. These days we've got Winehouse and her fan-punching, emphysema-contracting antics, not to mention her blood-painting, drug-taking pal, Pete Doherty, and their trainwreck patron saint, fallen grunge goddess Courtney Love. Rock history is littered with the classic bad deeds of musos who've made mayhem their calling cards - but today's stars don't do it with quite the poetic flair of their predecessors. We miss that.
The Drummer Division: It wasn't officially a competition, but the madmen behind the kits for two of the '70s biggest acts, the Who and Led Zeppelin, set new standards for insane behavior.
Zep's John Bonham has long been linked to the unsubstantiated "mud shark" incident involving a groupie and a certain creature of the deep, though he's perhaps best known for unbelievably loud playing and his death by drunkenness in 1980. Pal Moon ("Moon the Loon") nearly killed bandmate Pete Townshend during an appearance on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour by loading his drums with too many explosives and famously drove his car into a swimming pool, earning a lifetime ban at Holiday Inn. He, too, died from overindulgence - of medication intended to ween him off alcohol.
The Diva Division: All divas have issues. Some, like Mariah Carey, overcome adversity and chug along somewhat even-handedly, while others are tragically undone by their demons.
Psychedelic blues mama Janis Joplin fed her head with every drug imaginable (topped by plenty of drink) and was notorious for being one of the first ladies of rock to attract male groupies. But years of covering up her insecurity by boozing and living hard led to her death by overdose in 1970.
Fifteen years later diva Whitney Houston seemingly had it all - the biggest- selling single ever and a history-making string of platinum albums - but years of drug use, including an alleged predilection for crack cocaine and a downward spiraling marriage to fellow popwreck Bobby Brown, brought down the "I Will Always Love You" star and turned her into a musical punchline.
The Drama Division: They didn't come much more dramatic than Nirvana's Kurt Cobain.
The punk rock poet laureate struggled with crippling stomach pains for his entire career, which he assuaged with hard drugs and gut-wrenchingly confessional music. He famously overdosed during the band's final tour, then killed himself a short time later, leaving behind three studio albums of classic grunge greatness and a once-in-a-generation persona that guaranteed him a spot on rock's Mount Rushmore.
He took that spot next to equally troubled forefather Jim Morrison, lead singer of the Doors, who brought Oedipal drama to the stage, was accused of exposure during a show in Miami, and was good looking but then got fat before Elvis made it fashionable. Like Jimi and Janis (and Kurt, for that matter), Morrison's encore came at age 27, in a mysterious death in a Paris bathtub of what was believed to be a drug overdose.
The Appetite for Destruction Division: No one partied as hard and left as much damage in their wake in the 1980s as Mötley Crüe and Guns N' Roses.
The Crüe's legend includes a clinical drug overdose death and miraculous resurrection by bassist Nikki Sixx, singer Vince Neil's drunken driving crash that killed the drummer of Hanoi Rocks, and antics by drummer Tommy Lee that range from his infamous sex tape to battery charges against ex-Pam Anderson.
The only band rivaling the Crüe in the '80s for sheer debauchery were GNR, who rose from Sunset Strip gutter punk poverty to world domination on the back of serious drug habits by most of its members, a series of fan riots during shows, and lyrics on one song that baited homosexuals and minorities. All in a day's work for the bad boys of metal.
The Make It Funky Division: One is the self-proclaimed King of Pop, the other the Godfather of Soul. But no matter how you refer to Michael Jackson or the late James Brown, chances are it's done with one brow raised.
Childhood star Jackson destroyed every popular music landmark with his 1982 smash, Thriller, then devolved into a freak show attraction who cuddled with chimps, lived in a Peter Pan-like amusement park, was accused multiple times of abusing young boys, and has had so much plastic surgery it's been reported his nose had fallen off entirely.
Then you have the Hardest Working Man in Show Business, who almost single-handedly invented funk, produced some of the hottest tracks in history, and railed against drug abuse but spent time in jail in the late '80s after a two-state high speed car chase during which his tires were shot out and he was charged with drug offenses, adding to a rap sheet that would include multiple arrests for domestic abuse in the 1990s. Now is that any way for royalty to act?
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