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Once upon a time, I had my own alter ego. His name was Whitey McFearsun. Here is one surviving photo of latter-day Whitey sans makeup. Isn't he beautiful? Full of glam black pride and fashionable eyewear. He could have been the opening act for Beyonce's alter ego, Sasha Fierce.

I miss Whitey. It's nice to hide behind someone other than your mother or preacher. Performers need a muse, and sometimes that muse is one’s self. Sort of. Musicians and performers are generally a fearful, milquetoast lot. Most of them aren't worth much attention in the real world. Does anyone care about Brian Hugh Warner? No way. He's just another insecure, Ohio nobody. Marilyn Manson? That's another story. He's a dude full of shock and awe. He's a somebody. He's whoever you want him to be.

And so it is with alter egos. They are the lifeblood of the insecure artist. The crutch for the singer who can't walk on his own. The mouthpiece for the coward who wouldn’t say certain things without the safety of a pseudonym. See, I said it. Only a man who's shaken his alter ego addictions could speak so candidly. I'm free, you hear me? Free!

In the end, the true test of an artist — and a man — is whether or not he can come out from behind his alter ego and show his true self. Alas, for too many artists, it's an addiction they can't shake. Here are the Top Five Alter Ego Addicts. I'll see them at the next Alter Ego Anonymous meeting.

MARILYN MANSON
Brian Hugh Warner will turn forty in January. Next year also marks the 20th anniversary of his band and namesake (originally called Marilyn Manson & The Spooky Kids). It's time for Brian to get off the alter ego dole, take out the contact lenses, and write a kids album.

ELTON JOHN
Reginald Kenneth Dwight became Elton John in 1967. He spent some time living as an alter ego within an alter ego when he became Captain Fantastic in 1975. Now he's got a full head of hair and a respectable career as a Broadway composer, but he's still Reg inside.

ALICE COOPER
Vincent Damon Furnier was born in 1948. Alice Cooper was born 20 years later after realizing that a dude named Vincent Furnier would never sell out any stadiums. He's been sober since the ’80s, but at age sixty he's probably one of the oldest alter ego addicts around.

DAVID BOWIE
David Robert Jones wisely changed his name to avoid confusion with Davy Jones of the Monkees. That began a decades-long addiction to alter egos that began with Ziggy Stardust and continued with the drug-addled Thin White Duke. He seems to have kicked the habit, now living as a semi-retired respectable elder rock statesman.

BUCKETHEAD
Brian Patrick Carroll has played with Guns N' Roses, Iggy Pop, Bootsy Colins, Primus' Les Claypool, and tons of other artists. You've seen him: he's the dude with the KFC bucket on his head and white mask on his face. He's got more issues than I can possibly address in this blog. All I can say is, I don't touch KFC anymore.

Check out our Alter-Ego Addicts FlipBook to see which other artists made our list.