Tarnishing the Family Name
There's a burden that comes with being the child of a celebrity. And if your parent is considered one of the most influential musical figures ever? Well, then you're pretty much doomed right out of the gate. Talk about living in a shadow. Your dad's a famous welder? You probably can make it through with your ego intact. Your dad is known to millions as the forefather of rock 'n' roll? You're best off becoming a welder.
To be sure, there are a few musical progeny who have managed to forge their own path, and in doing so, they've done their parents proud. Jakob Dylan, Zak Starkey (son of Ringo), and Harper Simon (son of Paul) all come to mind. They all have burnished their family legacies with music and behavior totally consistent with their fine rock genes. I think Zak Starkey even signs autographs (unlike his dad, who famously announced last year he was done with fan requests).
Others, however, are dragging the family name through the mud. They long to reach the creative and popular heights of their famous dads, but, sadly, they are only destined for mediocrity. The apple sometimes falls very far from the tree. Here are 10 famous sons and daughters who may want to think of a career change. It's never too late to learn a new skill.
LISA MARIE PRESLEY: Daughter of Elvis Presley
She's got her daddy's lip curl, but that's about it. The King's daughter made two attempts to prove her vocal prowess: 2003's "To Whom It May Concern" and 2005's "Now What." The question posed by the second album was answered quickly. Lisa Marie stopped making records and became a mom to twins last year. I'm sure she's a better mother than she was a singer.
JULIAN LENNON: Son of John Lennon
The best Julian Lennon song is the one written about him by Paul McCartney ("Hey Jude"). Yeah, he had two Top 10 hits in the '80s, with "Valotte" and "Too Late For Goodbyes" (which is more than we can say for John's other kid, Sean), but it was quickly downhill after that. The all-time low? His cover of "When I'm Sixty-Four" for an Allstate Insurance commercial.
NELSON: Twin Sons of Rick Nelson
Come on, everyone agrees that these dudes were an embarrassment, right? I'd give them hell, but they've been sufficiently punished for their 1990 single, "(Can't Live Without Your) Love And Affection": they play the Royal Caribbean cruise ship circuit. I'll leave it at that.
FRANK SINATRA, JR.: Son of Frank Sinatra
When you're more famous for being kidnapped as a teenager than for being a singer, you know you've got a long way to go. Ol' Blue Eyes' kid was held for two days in 1963 by Vegas kidnappers. People still talk about it. His singing career? Not so much.
CARNIE WILSON: Daughter of Brian Wilson
Her dad is the mastermind behind one of the most revered bands of all time. He wrote "Pet Sounds," which most critics consider one of the best albums of all time. He inspired the Beatles, for chrissakes. Carnie, on the other hand, brought us "Celebracadabra" on VH1.
KELLY OSBOURNE: Daughter of Ozzy Osbourne
Unlike Carnie, Kelly made the move from reality TV to music. The results were just as bad. Her cover version of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" on her 2005 debut, "Shut Up!," did the impossible: it made the Material Girl seem like a skilled singer in comparison (insert an all-too-easy "Shut Up!" joke here).
SHOOTER JENNINGS: Son of Waylon Jennings
Here's my problem with Shooter. He's literally becoming his dad. He's got his dad's guitar, guitar strap, belt buckle, greasy hair. He's got the whole "outlaw" thing down cold. He even played his dad in "Walk the Line." Rock progeny should not channel their parents so note-for-note. It kinda creeps me out.
RUFUS WAINWRIGHT: Son of Loudon Wainwright III
OK, about 10 million more people know Rufus than know his dad. And that's why he's an embarrassment. You don't surpass your dad in popularity. It's disrespectful. Plus, Rufus needs to learn how to dress.
NICOLE RICHIE: Daughter of Lionel Richie
The only thing Nicole hasn't done to not embarrass her dad is make an album. Thank God for small miracles, although it would be hard to record something more embarrassing than "Dancing on the Ceiling."
NATALIE COLE: Daughter of Nat King Cole
You have Natalie to blame for starting the trend of living people duetting with the dead stars. In 1991 she sang an album of her dad's music, including his signature song, "Unforgettable." Through the magic of recording technology, Nat (who died in 1965) sang it with her. Cowardly move. If she had any courage, she would have recorded with him before he died.
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But sticking wainwright in here? Sour grapes,dude!
BLOGGER YOUR AN IDIOT. I HOPE YOUR NOT GETTING PAID FOR THIS. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. HOW CAN YOU LISTEN TO ANY SONG OF HERS AND SAY SHE CANT SING? TO SAY YOUR NOT INTO HER KIND OF MUSIC IS ONE THING, BUT DONT DENY HER TALENT. MORON.