Ever Get The Feeling You've Been Cheated? I Want My Money Back From These Concerts
After the Sex Pistols’ last gig in San Francisco, Johnny Rotten famously chided his audience, "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?" In a series of notorious bad gigs, the Pistols delivered one of their worst.
It's an unfortunate rock tradition: great bands giving really bad concerts. Neil Diamond is the latest, having decided to refund money to fans who attended his show in Columbus, Ohio. Seems ol' Neil had laryngitis and thought he'd sing his way through a concert anyway. Of course. Why would a singer need a voice to sing? But I gotta give him props for having the integrity to give fans their money back. Most artists take the money and run.
I think all concerts should have a money-back guarantee. Given that the average ticket price is over 60 bucks these days, we should have some protection. I'm starting with these concerts — I want my money back for these live flops. They wasted my money and my time. Both are in short supply.
U2 - PopMart Tour
If you read my U2 post, you know I’m a fan. However, four Irish dudes stuck inside a giant lemon dressed up like the Village People is not my idea of a good time. I know, it was supposed to be a "rock spectacular" full of smart irony but still... give me U2 on a stage without a lemon or McDonalds arches. Refund, please!
VAN HALEN - Greensboro, 2007
Gimme my money back — and someone fire the soundman! David, Eddie, and the boys launched into "Jump," but the backing keyboard track was playing in the one key, while Eddie was playing in another. The whole thing is a train wreck beyond compare. Note to bands: it's okay to just stop the song, fix the problem, and start over.
BOB DYLAN - The "Never-Ending Tour"
Bob's "never-ending tour" needs to end. He's taken to playing nearly incomprehensible versions of his songs while perched behind an electric piano wearing a cowboy hat. He's like some folkie Yosemite Sam piano-bar singer impersonating Bob Dylan.
MADONNA - Any and Every Concert
I know I only have myself to blame but I want my money back for every Madonna tour. When will she learn that multiple costume changes, an overly exercised body, a chorus line of dancers, and some platitudes about peace and love does not make up for soul. Soul is at the center of a concert. Anything else is just a Vegas show.
THE POLICE - 2008 Reunion Tour
What was great about the Police in the '80s? They were three dudes playing tight rock tunes. Reunited in 2008, Sting insisted on turning them into some prog-rock version of the Police with rambling excursions.
*BAD CONCERT HALL OF FAME*
I wasn't at these concerts but they deserve a place in bad rock concert history.
GUNS 'N ROSES - Riverport Amphitheatre, 1991
It's the stuff of rock legend. Axl Rose jumps off stage, attacks a fan recording the show, and is pulled off him by securtity guards. He gets back on stage and says, "Well, thanks to the lame-ass security, I'm going home" then storms off the stage. A riot ensued, injuring dozens. I wasn't there, but if I were, I would want my money back.
ROLLING STONES - Altamont, 1969
Note to self: never hire the Hells Angels for concert security.
"FINAL" CONCERTS
And finally, any band that makes some huge deal about their "final" tour, asks their fans to shell out hundreds of dollars for the privilege, then reunites soon after should give everyone their money back. If it's the last time, make it the last time.May all your concerts be worth the money you shell out. I raise my lighter to you.
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The reason I thought Randy Castillo sucked was because he didn't really seem to fit in with the other three. I'm not arguing that he wasn't good, given the right band. Just not with the Crue. Tommy Lee was/is a good fit and will always be a great heavy metal drummer.