My Birthday Gift to Miley Cyrus: Lessons on How to ROCK
Miley Cyrus is on top of the world. She's celebrating her 16th birthday at Disneyland, she's got a(nother) hit album, and every girl wants to be her. Only one problem. SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO ROCK. Miley Cyrus represents everything that's wrong with current pop music. It's fabricated, phoned-in, self conscious, soulless, board room created product. It's style over substance and has no ability to generate feelings other than the urge to buy a matching Miley Cyrus lunchbox.
On Miley's new album she covers Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun". Instead of taking a cue from Cyndi's '80s thrift shop soul, Miley turns the song into a hopped up, cut-and-paste exercise. Not one bent note. Not one hiccup. Not one strip of pink in the hair. The girl doesn't swing.
Miley could learn a thing or two from the great '80s rock chicks; artists who weren't tied to a teleprompter or afraid to let their mascara run. Miley needs a serious primer. So here are some singers I hope Miley has in her iPod while she's standing in line for Space Mountain. Consider it an early birthday gift. No thank you card is necessary.
CHRISSIE HYNDE
The grande dame of '80s rock chicks. She was sultry and cool. Plus, she written some of the best rock songs EVER! Chrissie Hynde is the blueprint for any teenage pop star wannabe looking to have some real cred.
PAT BENATAR
Probably the best singer of the bunch, Pat Benatar brought barroom grit to the big stage. Say what you will about her questionable fashion choices, Pat was purely authentic. No focus groups were polled in the making of her records.
TINA TURNER
Okay, a litle unfair since she started her career in the 1960s but Tina Turner's biggest success came in the '80s with her Private Dancer album. She's everything a female pop star should be: sexy, soulful and spontaneous.
CYNDI LAUPER
Her makeup, hair and general quirkiness overshadow the fact that Cyndi Lauper was one the most soulful chicks to come out of the '80. She could hang with Aretha Franklin and sing Marvin Gaye tunes (check her cover of "What's Going On"). Let's see Miley attempt that.
THE BANGLES
The Bangles are proof that short skirts and electric guitars go hand-in-hand. They are one of the great all-girl groups, backing up their looks with a serious pop-rock pedigree. Plus they had harmonies and guitar jangle for days.
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but, 2. these people are toooooooo sexy for miley! the majority of her fans are under 13. i mean, really!!
Granted she's got the voice, but she needs the maturity level before branching out on her own.
rock and pop are totally different genres
as a critic you shouldn't be saying anything about a genre you obviously dont appreciate
As far as I am concerned no other rock females have accomplished what they have and have the musical ability as they do. Anns voice and Nancys musician skills have not even been approached by any female yet.
Check out some of their videos on you tube back to the 70s and beyond. It would be nice to see a female that can rock her butt off like Heart, Benatar and even Vixen.
Most of these celebs though only do this as a side thing to their acting because its like the in thing to do these days. become a celeb and singer.
Look at J-Lo even the Hollywood socialite Paris did it to look cool. I would like to see them play like the Wilson sisters. But it will never happen.