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Tabloid rumors swirled recently that the incredibly young and beautiful Evan Rachel Wood was dating the much older and greasier Mickey Rourke. Wood denied the report, saying she felt disrespected by the press and Rourke, her costar in the Oscar-nominated film "The Wrestler." In reality, she's the one dissing Mickey by saying things like, "He's too old for me."

But the young beauty has danced before with a beast‚ Marilyn Manson to be exact. So what's Mickey doing wrong? We want to lend a brother a hand by giving Rourke some advice on how to land a lady that's out of his reach. Here are some other not-so-beautiful celebrities who've managed to pull it off in the past. But, really, Mickey, maybe the greatest advice we can give you is to leave ERW behind, and focus all your energy on your other rumored girl-toy, Courtney Love. She is wwwwaaaaayyyyy more in your league, even if you say you'd rather be on a "deserted island with a gorilla."

Check out the full Beauty & the Beast Gallery.

Tip #1: Get 'em while they're young
Case in Point: Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson
Mickey Rourke had every right to believe he'd have a shot with Evan Rachel Wood. Come on, she dated Marilyn Manson! But how come Manson (who, let's face it, may be the one person we can think of that's freakier than Mickey Rourke) could seal the deal and Mickey can't? When Wood met Manson at a party at the Chateau Marmont in 2006, she was just 18 and not old enough to know better. Sorry, Mickey. At age 21, she now knows better.

Tip #2: Make it quick
Case in Point: Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts
Lyle Lovett didn't waste any time when he met Julia Roberts on the set of the 1992 Robert Altman film "The Player." The couple dated for three weeks (no, that's not a typo) and then eloped. Clearly, she didn't have a second to think about what she was doing. But over the course of their marriage reality must have set in, and they divorced two years later.

Tip #3: Offer her the world
Case in Point: Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley
It's an age-old question: How did Michael Jackson get Lisa Marie Presley to marry him? We can only assume that the King of Pop gave the King's daughter things even she couldn't have dreamed of. Imagine these perks: Neverland, a house that actually trumps Graceland; a pet chimp; and a dowry that might include the Elephant Man's bones. What's not to love?

Tip #4: Have a big ego
Case in Point: Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed
Since Gene Simmons has the biggest ego in rock, it probably didn't occur to him that Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed was completely out of his league. But Gene wiped off his KISS makeup, ran a brush through that helmet hair of his, and asked the beauty out. She must have been blinded by his confidence.

Tip #5: Put her in your music video
Case in Point: Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova
How could a scrawny, pasty-faced rocker land one of world's most stunning supermodels? He put her in his band's video. The Cars' Ric Ocasek met the young model and aspiring actress Paulina Porizkova in the Timothy Hutton-directed video for "Drive." His appeal to the young beauty mystified many at the time, but they've been married for almost 20 years.

Tip #6: Write a song for her
Case in Point: Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley
Billy Joel met Christie Brinkley while they were both on vacation in St. Barts. But how could the 5' 5" piano man win over the 5' 9" model?  Write a song for her, of course. The result was the 1983 gold record "Uptown Girl." He was smart enough to put her in the video too. Oh, and the fact that he gave her a diamond engagement ring that was reportedly "the size of a sugar cube" probably didn't hurt either.

Tip #7: Be the consummate bachelor
Case in Point: Adam Duritz and Mary Louise Parker  
Goofy-looking rock star Adam Duritz has dated Mary-Louise Parker, Jennifer Aniston, and Courtney Cox. Why? Because he can. He's 40-years-old, has never been married, and is pretty much baggage-free. Plus, when ex-girlfriends like Parker call up after a high-profile break-up, Duritz is happy to throw on a tux and walk the red carpet. Very smooth.

For more celebrity dating tips check out the GetBack Beauty and the Beast photo gallery.