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The Twisted Jackson Family Tree

Posted Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:32am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack

This just in from the First Family of Crazy: The Jacksons. Marlon Jackson (he's the other child voice in the 1970 single "I'll Be There") has announced plans to develop a slave history theme park along with a Jackson 5 museum within a luxury resort in Nigeria.

"The development will cater to the country's growing tourism industry, particularly African-American tourists who wish to trace their Nigerian roots," according to a recent report in the U.K newspaper The Guardian. "Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honour the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back."

Whoa.

What was that '80s joke? "There's always a Tito lying around somewhere." I think it's time to check in with the rest of the Jackson clan to see what else they're up to these days.
 

 

 MICHAEL JACKSON
The biggest Jackson family star by a long shot, Michael has sold over 750 million records and is considered by Guinness World Records to be the most successful entertainer of all time. Plus, he's survived a rumored flesh-eating disorder (or at least everything but his nose). Still, he's pretty close to broke and is auctioning off his belongings in April. I hope he saves a few things for Marlon's museum.

 

 

 

 

JERMAINE JACKSON
The bass-playing heartthrob of the group, Jermaine had a brief solo career that included a duet with Pia Zadora. Jermaine is now an international reality-show star. He's been on "Australian Idol," "Celebrity Big Brother UK," and CMT's "Gone Country."

 

 

 

 

 

LaTOYA JACKSON
The middle daughter hasn't had much success professionally or personally. She released some forgettable singles, famously appeared in Playboy, and followed her brother Jermaine into the reality TV black hole. LaToya made her own "Celebrity Big Brother UK" appearance in 2009, then tried to earn some extra cash by charging fans for a meet-and-greet.

 

 

 

 

 MARLON JACKSON
Aside from his Nigerian slave theme park/Jackson 5 museum resort, Marlon plays the real estate game in Southern California. Real estate prices are probably better in Nigeria than California these days.

 

 

 

 

 

 TITO JACKSON
Immortalized by Eddie Murphy ("Tito, get me a tissue"), Tito now plays guitar in his own blues band and manages his sons' group, 3T. According to his website, a new album is expected shortly.

 

 

 

 

 

 JANET JACKSON
The youngest Jackson has starred in two of the all-time coolest '70s and '80s sitcoms: "Good Times" and "Diff'rent Strokes." She could have just stopped there, and her place in history would have been secure. But she made one more legendary TV appearance with Justin Timberlake at Super Bowl XXXVIII. I prefer her in "Good Times." Lately, she's plotting another makeover. Her website is down ("new website coming soon"), and she parted ways with her label, Island Def Jam.

 

 

 

 RANDY JACKSON
No, not that Randy Jackson. This one is the youngest Jackson brother, and he's a long way from "American Idol." He made one album under the name Randy & the Gypsys and now supposedly fixes cars in L.A, according to the New York Post.

 

 

 

 

 

JACKIE JACKSON
Jackie's closest brush with reality-show fame is a rumored affair with Paula Abdul in the '80s. Now he watches his son rap under the name DealZ.

 

 

 

 

 

REBBIE JACKSON
Rebbie is the oldest Jackson child. She had a '80s hit with "Centipede" and played Vegas before retiring. She's the only Jackson to maintain a longtime relationship. She's been married to her high school sweetheart since 1968. Other Jacksons take note.

 

 

 

 

JOSEPH JACKSON
He is the controversial patriarch who led his family to musical domination, then watched them slide into strangeness. He was a boxer, a musician, and a strict disciplinarian (to put it mildly). With no more Jacksons left to manage, Joe announced he was opening a boot camp for up-and-coming hip-hop artists. His goal was to "clean it up." Jackson family values, for sure.

1589 Comments

1. DUDE -
The Jackson Family makes Marilyn Manson look "normal".

2. Turnbull -
back off the jacksons,who's in your family thats intertainers, hater....

3. Yahoo! Music User -
The article is garbage. I couldn't read the rest of it without laughing. The blogger was so sure that he/she knew what he/she was talking about. Michael is selling his stuff not because he has "no money", because he has plenty, it is because he wants to. Part of the proceeds he will make from the auction goes to the Music Cares charity. If you never heard of them, look them up on google.com. The picture of Rebbie is wrong. That picture is of Jackie's wife, Victoria. There are plenty of pictures of Rebbie floating on the Internet. Type in Rebbie's name on google.com and find them. How does Janet's website being worked on have anything to do with anything? Things happened. So, Def Jam go rid of Janet - that is their lost. They are too busy focusing on making Rihanna this big star that lacks actual talent. What can Janet do? I mean, really. It is funny that the article never focus on the impact that the Jackson Family made in the world of music and comparing them to other music family acts like the Osmonds, the Simpsons, the Jonas Brothers, the Knowles, etc. You know, Joe might have been a "crazy" father but crazy created the Jackson 5, Jacksons, Michael, Janet, 3t, etc. Joe also made sure that none of his daughters, when they were in their late teens and 20's, went on stage almost naked singing their songs the way Mathew Knowles did with Beyonce and Solange. I do wonder why this blogger was so into trashing the family instead of realizing that the more people talk about them, the more popular they become. The Jacksons should thank this blogger for the mere fact that he/she wasted their time trashing them. I mean, they are in a business that states that all publicity is good publicity.

4. Yahoo! Music User -
LaToya is my favorite Jackson.

5. Toni -
The Jacksons do have real issues & problems, but what family doesn't? They are legends in music and nobody can take that away. Even though they have made so poor choices, and major failures in their lives,hopefully they can settle their differences and come together as a family.Also showcase their musical talents one more time (Michael included)!! Jacksons 4ever!

6. __A_YAHOO_USER__ -
No matter what Amos writes he gets hated on.

But dude just burned turnbullfaye. That fool wont be posting near here any time soon.

7. Yahoo! Music User -
For that picture of Rebbie" not being "Rebbie" but Jackies wife, did you say? She sure does look just like LaToya in that picture. Is it possible that a Jackson brother married a woman that looks just like his siblings?

8. Yahoo! Music User -
All are freaks. Please go away and stay.

9. KRIS C -
First of all,that is Toya not Rebbie.... Leave them alone...They are the way they are because you taught them to hate themselves.

10. M -
Those who actually took the time to say something negative about the Jacksons need to get a life, you have too much time on your hands to worry about people you obviously have no respect for. And like Jesus said he without sin cast the first stone. Meaning increase you people are too stupid to understand that, if you are so perfect yourself then step to Jesus and say so... Also that isn't a picture of Rebbie, that is another pic of Latoya...

11. Lady Di -
You know what, enough!

12. Jodie -
hey dumbass that is not a picture of Rebbie it's Latoya if you are going to write a story get the story right!

13. Lady Di -
...and my comment to the person who posted under Dude, the thing that you dont seem to get about Marilyn Manson is that he is normal. Its a joke and job! People dont seem to understand that.

14. Marylu M -
Marilyn Manson is normal. And he knows how to market himself.

15. James O -
They should have castrated that buck Joseph at birth!!!!!!!!!!!

16. some who cares -
man!! can't people just let it go the show is over.

17. blahh -
um, is Micheal holding a baby?
Cause it sure looks like it.
& it kinda scares me.. D:!

18. SCH -
A family that gave their lives to make us happy have had some very bad consequences because of the lifestyle that fame brings. They've also had some big sadness come their way. Times change, people get older...lsome get wiser...others fade away. Let's leave it all alone!!!

19. Hetty -
Dysfunctional Family in the dictionary show a picture of the Jacksons.

What a bunch of Flamin' Weirdos!

They make my family look loving and stable - THANK YOU!

20. kristopher -
janet is the queen of everything!!!!!! i love her
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