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The Twisted Jackson Family Tree

Posted Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:32am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack

This just in from the First Family of Crazy: The Jacksons. Marlon Jackson (he's the other child voice in the 1970 single "I'll Be There") has announced plans to develop a slave history theme park along with a Jackson 5 museum within a luxury resort in Nigeria.

"The development will cater to the country's growing tourism industry, particularly African-American tourists who wish to trace their Nigerian roots," according to a recent report in the U.K newspaper The Guardian. "Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honour the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back."

Whoa.

What was that '80s joke? "There's always a Tito lying around somewhere." I think it's time to check in with the rest of the Jackson clan to see what else they're up to these days.
 

 

 MICHAEL JACKSON
The biggest Jackson family star by a long shot, Michael has sold over 750 million records and is considered by Guinness World Records to be the most successful entertainer of all time. Plus, he's survived a rumored flesh-eating disorder (or at least everything but his nose). Still, he's pretty close to broke and is auctioning off his belongings in April. I hope he saves a few things for Marlon's museum.

 

 

 

 

JERMAINE JACKSON
The bass-playing heartthrob of the group, Jermaine had a brief solo career that included a duet with Pia Zadora. Jermaine is now an international reality-show star. He's been on "Australian Idol," "Celebrity Big Brother UK," and CMT's "Gone Country."

 

 

 

 

 

LaTOYA JACKSON
The middle daughter hasn't had much success professionally or personally. She released some forgettable singles, famously appeared in Playboy, and followed her brother Jermaine into the reality TV black hole. LaToya made her own "Celebrity Big Brother UK" appearance in 2009, then tried to earn some extra cash by charging fans for a meet-and-greet.

 

 

 

 

 MARLON JACKSON
Aside from his Nigerian slave theme park/Jackson 5 museum resort, Marlon plays the real estate game in Southern California. Real estate prices are probably better in Nigeria than California these days.

 

 

 

 

 

 TITO JACKSON
Immortalized by Eddie Murphy ("Tito, get me a tissue"), Tito now plays guitar in his own blues band and manages his sons' group, 3T. According to his website, a new album is expected shortly.

 

 

 

 

 

 JANET JACKSON
The youngest Jackson has starred in two of the all-time coolest '70s and '80s sitcoms: "Good Times" and "Diff'rent Strokes." She could have just stopped there, and her place in history would have been secure. But she made one more legendary TV appearance with Justin Timberlake at Super Bowl XXXVIII. I prefer her in "Good Times." Lately, she's plotting another makeover. Her website is down ("new website coming soon"), and she parted ways with her label, Island Def Jam.

 

 

 

 RANDY JACKSON
No, not that Randy Jackson. This one is the youngest Jackson brother, and he's a long way from "American Idol." He made one album under the name Randy & the Gypsys and now supposedly fixes cars in L.A, according to the New York Post.

 

 

 

 

 

JACKIE JACKSON
Jackie's closest brush with reality-show fame is a rumored affair with Paula Abdul in the '80s. Now he watches his son rap under the name DealZ.

 

 

 

 

 

REBBIE JACKSON
Rebbie is the oldest Jackson child. She had a '80s hit with "Centipede" and played Vegas before retiring. She's the only Jackson to maintain a longtime relationship. She's been married to her high school sweetheart since 1968. Other Jacksons take note.

 

 

 

 

JOSEPH JACKSON
He is the controversial patriarch who led his family to musical domination, then watched them slide into strangeness. He was a boxer, a musician, and a strict disciplinarian (to put it mildly). With no more Jacksons left to manage, Joe announced he was opening a boot camp for up-and-coming hip-hop artists. His goal was to "clean it up." Jackson family values, for sure.

1590 Comments

41. Anuli -
thats iz very interesting (GO REBBIE)

42. Chris -
Jacksons are a family of wankers...

43. Walter -
The Greatest family of all time, ladies and gentlemen! They were great in Gary, Indiana! The wacky west coast!

44. Mr.Denver Broncos -
how is his mom doing / where is she at

45. clinker w -
i do,nt have mch time on hands and i still think the whole family is nuts just give your head a shake and think about it

46. Nite -
They may have had their problems, and still do. But I think their great. I have always loved their music. Oh and mccartneyjodie, that "IS" Rebbie, not Latoya. Want to borrow my glasses?

47. EliseW -
I STILL LUV THEM ALL!!! THEY ARE MY HEROS.

48. Anuli -
IM MAD THE MOM HAD 10 KIDS, DATS A LOT OF WORL!!!!!!!!!

49. Yahoo! Music User -
Although this family may seem tragic and sad. this blogger fails to realize the impact The Jackson 5, Michael and Janet have all made to modern pop and music history in general. You can't always be on top, but both Michael and Janet have sole plenty of albums and won plenty of rewards, outlasting many of their peers and influencing many of the new up and coming R&B and Pop acts of today/ Last, Janet continues to make albums and has yet to put out an album that has sold less than a million copies. So to me that is still relevant.

50. Damian -
some of these reports are false as always on the Jacksons. First of all Michael is not, nor will be (though the media wants him that way) broke. That man makes a dollar each minute because his songs are everywhere including the catalog he owns that these clowns are trying to rob him of: the beatles. Michael is too smart for that. Marlon Jackson is also the only member who is still married to his wife from high school.

51. nire_str -
i really dont like the picture of michael :( he just has some issues i mean how would you like it if people took a picture of everything YOU did!!! I know I would crack just a little!!

52. Yahoo! Music User -
LOL! y do pple spend their time arguing an writin bout stupid stuff that don't even matter!?!

53. Kenzie -
or all the people bashing the jacksons and for the people bashing the people who bash the jacksons, GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!! WE ALL OBVIOUSLY DONT HAVE LIVES BECAUSE WE SPEND OUR TIME FIGHTING WITH PEOPLE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE WE DONT EVEN KNOW!!!!!!!!!! and yes i know that by saying this i am fighting with you and i dont really care i just needed to say something and since i dont know any of you personally, this is my way of saying it

54. Ricky S -
That's a picture of La Toya with the Rebbie paragraph... nice!

55. Arthur Crume & The Soul Stirrers -
I just want to say,
Long live the Jackson family! We go back a long ways together! I'll like to hear from the old man!

Arthur Crume

56. MichaelM -
intertainers? Idiot

57. Latasha -
I USED TO BE A JACKSON FAN. I GUESS I JUST GREW OUT OF IT. IM NOT GONNA KNOCK THE FAMILY THEY ARE VERY TALENTED. BUT I JUST THINK "POPA JOE" PUSHED THEM TO HARD AT AN EARLY AGE.

58. Ravynne -
This Blog is completely trash! This family is a legend! They paid their dues so lay off! We're not talking about the Carpenters problems, or the Osmond's crazy lifestyle. With in their 40 year career we never saw any of them drugged out or drunk all over the place let them be. They're just living their respective lives! JACKSON'S FOREVER!

59. Cosmo -
I agree w/Taco and Dude.
Plus.....
The Jackson's may have some social garbage in the closet, but the people who dig through that garbage to make a buck are even more garbage. Don't you think? Are you happy living off the scraps they leave behind? The press are parasites.

60. Lauren S -
Marilyn Manson IS normal, why would you judge someone based on how they want the media to portray him?
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AP - Police concerns that media-hungry terrorists would attack Michael Jackson's trial as a "soft target" led to a request for federal help, according to FBI files kept on the late pop star. The documents also … More »

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