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The Twisted Jackson Family Tree

Posted Wed Feb 18, 2009 10:32am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack

This just in from the First Family of Crazy: The Jacksons. Marlon Jackson (he's the other child voice in the 1970 single "I'll Be There") has announced plans to develop a slave history theme park along with a Jackson 5 museum within a luxury resort in Nigeria.

"The development will cater to the country's growing tourism industry, particularly African-American tourists who wish to trace their Nigerian roots," according to a recent report in the U.K newspaper The Guardian. "Visitors will be able to explore the site of the former transatlantic slave trade, honour the hundreds of thousands who died in what were horrific human rights abuses, and then head off for a round of golf or a massage, before gawping at animatronic versions of the siblings who sang ABC and I Want You Back."

Whoa.

What was that '80s joke? "There's always a Tito lying around somewhere." I think it's time to check in with the rest of the Jackson clan to see what else they're up to these days.
 

 

 MICHAEL JACKSON
The biggest Jackson family star by a long shot, Michael has sold over 750 million records and is considered by Guinness World Records to be the most successful entertainer of all time. Plus, he's survived a rumored flesh-eating disorder (or at least everything but his nose). Still, he's pretty close to broke and is auctioning off his belongings in April. I hope he saves a few things for Marlon's museum.

 

 

 

 

JERMAINE JACKSON
The bass-playing heartthrob of the group, Jermaine had a brief solo career that included a duet with Pia Zadora. Jermaine is now an international reality-show star. He's been on "Australian Idol," "Celebrity Big Brother UK," and CMT's "Gone Country."

 

 

 

 

 

LaTOYA JACKSON
The middle daughter hasn't had much success professionally or personally. She released some forgettable singles, famously appeared in Playboy, and followed her brother Jermaine into the reality TV black hole. LaToya made her own "Celebrity Big Brother UK" appearance in 2009, then tried to earn some extra cash by charging fans for a meet-and-greet.

 

 

 

 

 MARLON JACKSON
Aside from his Nigerian slave theme park/Jackson 5 museum resort, Marlon plays the real estate game in Southern California. Real estate prices are probably better in Nigeria than California these days.

 

 

 

 

 

 TITO JACKSON
Immortalized by Eddie Murphy ("Tito, get me a tissue"), Tito now plays guitar in his own blues band and manages his sons' group, 3T. According to his website, a new album is expected shortly.

 

 

 

 

 

 JANET JACKSON
The youngest Jackson has starred in two of the all-time coolest '70s and '80s sitcoms: "Good Times" and "Diff'rent Strokes." She could have just stopped there, and her place in history would have been secure. But she made one more legendary TV appearance with Justin Timberlake at Super Bowl XXXVIII. I prefer her in "Good Times." Lately, she's plotting another makeover. Her website is down ("new website coming soon"), and she parted ways with her label, Island Def Jam.

 

 

 

 RANDY JACKSON
No, not that Randy Jackson. This one is the youngest Jackson brother, and he's a long way from "American Idol." He made one album under the name Randy & the Gypsys and now supposedly fixes cars in L.A, according to the New York Post.

 

 

 

 

 

JACKIE JACKSON
Jackie's closest brush with reality-show fame is a rumored affair with Paula Abdul in the '80s. Now he watches his son rap under the name DealZ.

 

 

 

 

 

REBBIE JACKSON
Rebbie is the oldest Jackson child. She had a '80s hit with "Centipede" and played Vegas before retiring. She's the only Jackson to maintain a longtime relationship. She's been married to her high school sweetheart since 1968. Other Jacksons take note.

 

 

 

 

JOSEPH JACKSON
He is the controversial patriarch who led his family to musical domination, then watched them slide into strangeness. He was a boxer, a musician, and a strict disciplinarian (to put it mildly). With no more Jacksons left to manage, Joe announced he was opening a boot camp for up-and-coming hip-hop artists. His goal was to "clean it up." Jackson family values, for sure.

1589 Comments

161. Angel L -
oh man I gotta fart!

162. Just me -
They are freaks and the father is the blame! Michael should be in jail! The pervert!!!!!

163. No Brain No Headache -
Where are the Jackson's...somewhere getting plastic surgery.

164. Yahoo! Music User -
i'm gonna say this as kindly as possible LEAVE MICHAEL JACKSON THE F**K ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

165. Windy -
Sorry my friends - that pic IS Rebbie, and NOT Toya. Toya's nose has been fixed, like Michael's. Rebbies is a bit wider in the bridge. And Toya's boobs, when she bends forward,like in those pics, would look like she had two cantalopes in her shirt!! Rebbie doesn't look like that. Rebbie is Very sweet and down to earth.

166. Mona -
Where is the Matriarch (Catherine)?

167. shemaw -
no comm ent 4 this....lol

168. Roberta -
Just be blessed, everyone

169. auri_98 -
To Dude:

If Marilyn Manson looks normal to you then you should get your ass and your head checked, Dude. Ms. I mean Mr. Manson looks like a alien street walker from Mars. Normal??? Bird crap looks more normal than your girlfriend, Manson. I hope you get married and have little dudes and Manson's. Stupid freak.

170. Yahoo! Music User -
The Jacksons need to be left alone. They are human beings just like us, and like us, they make mistakes too. What we all need to do is stop critisizing and pray for them instead. Jesus loves you.

171. Jenn -
whats with MICHAEL's picture?

172. Anthony Bianco -
Micheal is a peepee toucher, the rest are harmless, hopefully. Janet is the only won that matter is my eyes. she's hot. I've loved a lot of her songs over the years.

173. n2fantails -
A family that plays together raises children that way...and Michael...is holding that baby like that (dangling the child over the edge of the balcony) is'cause that baby wouldn't sleep like he told him too...you all know about how Michael is about all tho'es baby boys who he sleeps wit

174. tljones9 -
All of you Jackson haters answer this question.....How many of your family members have sold over 750 million albums (55-60 million from one album).....if you can do that, then you can talk about anybody you want in the music industry....until then, lay off the HATERADE!

175. X -
Learn how to spell check your stupid ass comments

176. Megan -
Wow that is one jacked up faimly!!

177. sampatel -
hi what's up? it's good

178. -
Life is all about choices. The flip side of the coin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. The Jacksons simply embody every family in America, times 10. The media and some misinformed individuals like to blow up. Too bad drama, like sex, sells.

179. JefferyW -
Thriller good nite game over

180. $$Dee-Dee40$$(195) -
I applauded the Jackson's! Dispite of all the Bulls@#t they took it to the top!..And the older they get the better, who are we to judge them for who or what they do. The JACKSON'S have bust there asses since the late 1950's.."I know"! I'm 42 yrs old and have been a Jackson fan ever since I was a little girl, So lay off them all-ready! Who give's a s@#t who's look's gay or what color there skin is, The only thing I know that they will alway's be in my heart!!!
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