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Lady GaGa may have been robbed of her Grammy for "Just Dance" (she was up for Best Dance Recording and lost to Daft Punk), but she's not sulking. The girl has it all: Madonna's 1980s playbook, Donatella Versace's DNA (and wardrobe), and a multimedia empire waiting for her call. (How much longer until the GaGa fashion line, fragrance line, and after-dinner mints?) The only thing she needs is a better stage name. "Lady GaGa" makes me gag.

A great stage name is critical for most young stars looking for their big break. Robert Zimmerman, David Jones, and Declan MacManus were wise to put out albums as Bob Dylan, David Bowie, and Elvis Costello, respectively. All were inspired name choices: they work for all occasions, they age well, and they can be taken seriously.

However, too many musicians rush into a renaming decision. They're alone in their room, air guitar in hand, not thinking of accepting their Lifetime Achievement Award at age 60. They're thinking short-term gain and not long-term name stability.

A stage name is forever. Think twice Ms. GaGa (nee Stefani Germanotta) before you commit to laying that moniker on your upholstery line. Take heed from these musicians who chose names that will haunt and humiliate them forever. And I'm not even getting into the dozens of lame rap names. Can ANYONE come up with a decent rap name?

Photo gallery: See the ALL of musicians with the lamest-ever stage names.

FLEA (Michael Peter Balzary)
Hands down, Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea is one of the best players in rock. A musical prodigy on the trumpet as a child, he was originally into jazz. I wish he had taken a cue from jazz greats like Yardbird and Satchmo.

 
NOODLES (Kevin Wasserman)
The Offspring's lead guitarist claims to dig high culture and is an aficionado of wine, classical music, and poetry. But he's gonna have to lose "Noodles" if he wants to hang with the country club set. Frankly, I hope he ditches the name and ditches the country club set.

THE EDGE (David Howell Evans)
U2's guitarist has arguably reinvented the instrument (say what you will about the band, his sound is undeniably influential). But the name? Lame. Apparently "Edge" comes from his angular facial features, particularly the nose. Thankfully, Roger Daltrey didn't decide to rename Pete Townshend "The Beak."

PUFF DADDY/PUFFY/P. DIDDY/DIDDY (Sean John Combs)
This is a dude on an eternal quest for the perfect name. I give him props for persistence. Plus, he gets the prize for the best reason for a name change. On the "Today" show in 2005, Combs said he was dropping the "P" because it was "getting in between me and my fans." Genius. Keep searching, young Diddy. Keep searching.

BOY GEORGE (George Alan O'Dowd)
If only he had a crystal ball in the '80s to see how ridiculous it would all turn out. The only thing worse than being called "Boy George" in your 40s? Standing on the side of the road in an orange jumpsuit picking up garbage... while being called Boy George. Getting busted for tying a male prostitute to a bed... while being called Boy George. And serving jail time while being called Boy George. You do NOT want to be the dude named Boy George in the prison yard.

CHUBBY CHECKER (Ernest Evans)
I'm gonna call it and say that Chubby Checker is the originator of the lame stage name. I know you'll all leave me comments giving me a million ways in which this is historically untrue. I don't care. It's my blog. I make the rules. Chubby got his name from the wife of "American Bandstand" host Dick Clark. Knowing what I've heard about how Dick Clark does business, Chubby is probably still paying royalties on his name.

There's more...click here to see Meat Loaf, "The Artist Formerly Known As," and all of my picks.