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Chris Brown And Rihanna: Domestic Violence Rampant Among Teens

Posted Thu Mar 12, 2009 12:30pm PDT by Billy Johnson, Jr. in Hip-Hop Media Training

Daily tabloid reports about Chris Brown and Rihanna's tumultuous relationship, the back story, the domestic dispute that prompted Chris to turn himself in to Los Angeles police and talk of reconciliation have dominated the news since the February 8 incident.

But today Oprah takes on the topic in a one hour special on teen dating that will include interviews with youth as well as fellow television host Tyra Banks, who will reveal why she is moved by the topic.

On last Friday's broadcast of Oprah the media mogul made it clear that she did not think Rihanna should continue dating Chris. "If a man hits you once, he will hit you again," she said in an emotional plea to the camera, the day after Chris received two felony charges for his alleged attack on Rihanna.

The controversy has prompted a wide range of reactions.

The day after Chris turned himself into Los Angeles authorities for questioning and was released on $50,000 bail, he was dropped from his endorsement deal with Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company, the manufacturer of Doublemint Gum.

Wednesday, he withdrew his nomination from Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards.

Industry insiders have been divided.

But many of Chris' adoring female fans have continued to show him unwavering, rather alarming, support. Support that even withstood the shock of the leaked LAPD photo of Rihanna, bloodied and bruised, that surfaced weeks later.

In particular, I was troubled by the messages from girls I read on Rihanna's MySpace page the day the news broke that she was allegedly beaten by Chris.

I went to Rihanna's page thinking I was going to find words of encouragement and support from her fans. But it was the opposite.

One girl accused the Barbados-bred singer of bringing the attack on herself. The girl cited a rumor that claimed that Rihanna had given Chris Brown a sexually transmitted disease as justification of Chris' alleged attack.

Another told Rihanna not to worry because she was sure that the popular female singer would be able to sort out her differences with the 19-year-old heartthrob.

A different MySpace friend commented that whatever had happened between Rihanna and Chris was their private business.

That night, I did not read one post from a woman outraged that Rihanna had been victimized.

This reaction from girls made me wonder why many appeared to be desensitized to domestic violence.

If girls are quick to dismiss this incident as warranted when provoked then this problem is bigger than the issue facing the pop stars at the center of the latest tabloid controversy.

Is this how young girls generally respond to domestic violence in their own lives or are these particular girls just so infatuated by Chris' celebrity that they would be more inclined to tolerate such behavior?

I had my own opinions, but considering all the attention this news story was getting, I wanted to talk to actual professionals who work with teens involved in domestic disputes to see if this reaction is consistent with what they experience.

Domestic violence is quite rampant among teens. Forty percent of teenage girls aged 14 to 17 say they have been abused or know someone their age that has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, according to the article When Love Hurts: Teen Dating Violence published in a newsletter by the Jenesse Center, Inc. The Los Angeles based women's shelter wrote the story in response to the Chris Brown and Rihanna altercation.

I spoke two teen girls that I know personally and each has a close girlfriend who has complained about being physically and mentally abused by their current boyfriends.

Angela Swan, an attorney who specializes in juvenile dependency cases in Los Angeles County, says that it is common for young women to downplay the male perpetrator's role in inciting the attack. "I see it all the time, the woman taking on the blame," says Swan. "They will say, ‘I set him off,' ‘He didn't push me that hard,' or ‘The kids were in the other room.' They kind of minimize what is going on."

A supervising nurse in Southern California, who spoke with me on the condition of anonymity, says that when perpetrators actually bring their victims to the hospital, they often justify their assault. "That's what I see in the hospital when females come in," says the nurse of 22-years. "When the guys come in with them, they will say, ‘She did this to me.'" Regardless of the explanation, the hospital is required to call the police. "We always call the police and it will end up that the female does not want to press charges."

Sometimes when police respond to a 911 call, the female victim says that the perpetrator has apologized and she has forgiven him, but the authorities still have to intervene. Erick, a Los Angeles Police Department officer, who asked that his last name not be used for this article, attributes the female victim's reluctance to press charges to a "cycle of violence."

"We can't force anyone to talk to us," says Erick, "but we try to reason with them. If it is a first offense we suggest counseling. Sometimes it's anger management. The perpetrator could also be forced to go by the court."

Low self esteem is a core issue plaguing young girls, says Leslye Johnson, a group home administrator in California's Riverside County. "Young girls just don't value themselves so they feel like that kind of behavior is acceptable," Johnson says. "If they are with someone who has money, putting up with what they do to them, from the girl's perspective, is okay." This is especially the case if the person is famous like Chris Brown.

Arlene Hackel, a Riverside, California children's services social worker, says that the way society views women contributes to young girls' low self esteem. "Society in general has come to view the female with disrespect and disregard," she says. "It is acceptable for young women to not have self respect and to allow abuse."

But it is not just the victims of domestic violence or those who have witnessed it who accept it. Some argue that popular culture is fueling the message that men, especially those with wealth and status, are more important than women.

Tarana Burke sees this first hand as the executive director of Just Be Inc., a Philadelphia-based program that aides young women of color in developing a strong sense of self worth.

"So now we have little baby girls who think that Rihanna, as talented and beautiful and successful as she is, should somehow be grateful for or is indebted in some way to Chris Brown for choosing her," says Burke.

"We accept this behavior from men in our communities and our families and we let our little girls see it and develop their own understanding of what it is to be a girlfriend or wife," Burke adds. "These remarks and the sentiment attached to them are the consequences."

Bassey Ikpi was shocked that the preteen girls in her Washington, D.C. poetry class were quick to condemn Rihanna after her attack.

A 12-year-old girl told Ikpi that Chris hadn't done anything wrong and should not go to jail. "He should get community service," the child said. But even worse, she admitted that if she had been beaten by Chris that she would not have reported it to the police.

"He won't do it again because then he'd be with me and I wouldn't say anything to make him mad," the girl told Ikpi. "I'd just be happy he was with me and let him know it. Rihanna should have just been happy to be with him instead of making him mad enough to hit her. Now his life is all messed up. That's not fair."

Those in abusive relationships or accepting of them don't always have the best reference points for identifying healthy courtships.

In press interviews, years prior to this incident, both Chris and Rihanna spoke openly about growing up in homes where domestic violence and or drug abuse prevailed.

"Youth need help identifying when they are in an unhealthy situation," notes the Jenesse Center newsletter. "Often times, young people do not recognize abuse when it is happening."

Recent reports that Chris and Rihanna have reconciled are rumored to be married and even recording an apology song sparked a public outcry. When Chris released a statement the week following the incident, he mentioned being "saddened" by what had transpired and that he was seeking the counseling of his pastor and mother. However, it is unlikely that he could have received adequate therapy in the few weeks that have passed.

When representing a victim or perpetrator in court Swan has seen judges order perpetrators to take a 52-week battered course.

There is a strong need for education and dialogue about domestic abuse. Karen Earl, executive director for the Jenesse Center, thinks everyone should get involved in the discussion.

"I think we need to have simple communication that it is not okay," says Earl. "Nobody should hit you and you don't hit anybody." The Jenesse Center spearheads a number of activities to build self esteem.

"When you feel good about yourself you are less likely to be mean to somebody or to accept cruel treatment," Earl adds. "It is a known issue that if not taken care of when they are kids, they grow up with low self esteem. To really get to the genesis of this issue, if it is not taken care of now we are failing our children. And I mean to be that dramatic. I want to be dramatic."

For resources on domestic violence among teens see the special feature on Oprah.com. You can also call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at (866) 331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. Additionally, call the info line 211 for resources in your area.

367 Comments

1. baby angel -
rihanna should dump chris brown.. he is too emotional and childish.. he doesnt act like an adult!

2. JuniorF -
She is a grown girl; nobody should get involved between two consenting couples.
Mine your own business!!!

3. Yahoo! Music User -
Both previous comments are very true in their own ways, but unfortunately once a man hits you, he will definitely do it again. I know as I lived with an abusive husband for 11 years before I finally got out. I said the last time he hit me, he literally knocked sense into me. It's such a shame because this young woman is beautiful and talented...no good will come out of this so-called reunion between her and this Chris Brown. But, this video of hers -- Disturbia -- no wonder there's no much violence because that's all this video shows is violence. This is what our young girls are watching...I find this disturbing. There's way too much so called grown up stuff out there being seen by our young children. Parents, police your kids more now that ever -- they need our protection even though they think don't want it or need it...they do!

4. Raijieli -
rihana n crish should luv one another know matter what happen to them also chris should luv rihana becoz his a famous guy n every boby like him, chris brown should go n asked fogivenes to rihana.

5. momskita -
OK I UNDERSTAND NO MAN SHOULD HIT A WOMAN BUT ONE THING I KNOW WE DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE WE ARE NO ONE TO JUDGE AND THEY BOTH YOUNG AND I KNOW HE LEARN HIS LESSON IS NOT EASY FOR BOTH OF THEM ESPECIALLY HAVING ALL DIS MEDIA AND EVERYONE JUDGING POINTING FINGERS AND SPECIALLY IS NOT EASY FOR THIER FAMILY SO PLEAASE PEOPLE LET GOD HELP THEM BOTH.

6. Deyna -
i think chris should ask 4 4givnes and if rihanna is no more interested he shud leave her and come 2 me.

7. Jazzie Fay -
Ya Know if she wanted to get out she could of. But she didn't. she wanted to stay with her man through all of it. But you can't take everything. Everyone has a breaking point and this was her breaking point.
Maybe Chris Brown was confused.. you don't know what goes through his head! So Rhihanna do what ya do!

8. Joanne -
rihanna made a mistak!!!!

9. more important things -
She'll be hit again and then more than likely killed. Then all you moron's out there that either supported him, or blamed her, will be typing on this very page- " I hate him now! He should'nt have killed her! That's how grossly stupid most of you idiot's are. You know nothing about what your talking about! It's scary that there's people like you who think so "shallow". You should be ashamed of yourselves! Go and learn something - read a book, educate yourselves.

10. Taurus -
what amazes me is the fact that this is going on in the black community every day.SO,why arent we going there also?She came at him first...Can u not defend for yourself?For those people who are really concerned just ride around your local hood and do something about those thugs who beat women everyday.Sweep around your own door.

11. Kenneth T -
For those who are on the "second chance" crap, let me tell you a little story about that. My brother in law was given a second chance and decided to kill my sister.I witnessed several women go through this including my older sisters,and don't put my hands on women. I have started a foundation in 2004 to help in the prevention of dating and domestic violence.I cannot stress the importance of this young lady removing herself from this situation as soon as possible!!!!!!

12. Lexie -
Chris is an extremely talented artist and dancer.....not to mention actor. Sure he's been in movies and he is pretty good at what he does but it somewhat scares me that he could do that to anyone let alone the woman he "supposedly" loves, and still ACT like everything is wonderful. He was beating her long before this little incident and nobody knew anything about it, in fact we were idolizing him.
Rihanna is indeed a grown woman and is capable of making her own choices, but I just don't see how you could stay with a man after he threatened to kill you and beat you to a bloody mess. Maybe she really loves him or maybe she is staying with him out of fear, whatever the case, the media should really back off of them and let them have some space. ....................Of course the American public can't do this because they just have to know about every bathroom break a celeb takes.

13. Delana -
well as a batterd women i know how she feels.its hard to let go of someone you love even if the price is bruses.if she thinks hell change he will but for awhile.until he has a bad day with what this charge will bring.then it will all be her fault again.and then what?

14. Steve -
Momskita - Seriously, go to school and learn how to construct a sentence. You'll be far more understood when you can make your point. If you write this poorly, it's likely you read very little, therefore, know very little.

15. amy -
sad that these "chris brown fans" are supporting him I just the fans to think if they got beat up by a spouse and somesome saw but just said "I don't judge" and go on with their busnisses how would they feel. Some of these shallow peope need to be in the situation to know how it feels.

And i agree a man should never put his hands on a woman EVER! I don't care id she was annoying him,hitting him,backtalking him what ever NEVER should he hit her.And the same goes for women.

Unless it's for self defense you should never put your hands on another person.

What chris brown did was NOT self defense! pushing her out of the car beating her while he was driving and BITING her ear! He could have quickly got out of the car and called the police if he showed the bruises he got from her but no he went as far as making death threats.

So chris brown fans love his music love his rapping whatever but to support him on what he did?

You are in ignorant shallow person who needs to pay attention in school next time.

16. TUNNISIA -
I feel Rhianna could've been a powerful force in the domestic violence community if she would not have gotten back with chris. There are so many woman that are being abused and are scared to leave or testify against their attackers, but if they would've saw Rhianna do it they probably would've followed suit and saved their own lives but since she was stupid enough to take him back so soon,whatever happens to her she deserve I am sorry if he could beat you up like that for asking a question about another chick he don't give a dam about you mama

17. tiana -
i think this is stupid...people are making it seem like rihanna is the victum when shes not..we dont know what happen in the car..if u really look on t.v and see how chris brown appear on t.v u wouldnt think hes that type of person to hit on someone like that..i believe that she must of prvoke him..if u keep goin in someone face constaintly and hitting the person of course the person gon hit back..im not sayin wat he did was right im sayin stop blaming him if u dnt know whats goin on..the only person who knows is those two n lord god almighty...what if this situation didnt occur would b still talkin bout domestic violence?..come on now hes not a monster hes a human being jus like evryone else on this earth..we make mistakes..this is sayin that its ok for a women to hit a man and a men cant defend himself if the woman iz reaptily hitting the man and thats not right

18. Yahoo! Music User -
She needs to run...many other men in the ocean that will treat her with respect. He is a child and I hope he does time. At the end of the day, it is not any of our business, she will make her choice and have to live with it. We should just teach our children that violence against women is wrong! It all starts at home....

19. Frances -
It isn't ok for anyone to hit anyone. Although it is sad that the media has to report every detail of a celebrity's life, in this case they are both role models and this is a big issue. So many people are abused verbally and physically. Looking at how many people are saying that something like this is fine and that she should feel honored to be with him just because he is rich, famous, and talented when she was those things too before she even met him (though neither fame nor wealth determine how good a person is anyways) is evidence of how their fans need some good role models in their lives. I have a friend who was with a guy for about a year and he hit her but she got out of that relationship. I am so proud of her for that because it can be really hard to get out of an abusive relationship. This is because people, mostly women, blame themselves when someone they love hits them. Rihanna isn't necessarily being stupid either. There is a good chance that she was already thinking some of the things that abused women normally think like what I mentioned above since she didn't get out of the relationship sooner. How is she supposed to feel strong or like she is the beautiful and talented person that she is when Chris' and her fans are reinforcing those harmful thoughts?

20. Tay -
OMG! i'm soo tierd of all the Chris and Rihana crap! leave Chris alone! we all make mistakes! and image how hard it would be if one of your mistakes got bodcasted over the world! i hope that each one of you that's made a rude and ignorant remark against Chris get one of there mistakes brodcasted over the world! and how would that make you feel! i'm on Chris's side 110%!
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