Chris Brown And Rihanna: Domestic Violence Rampant Among Teens
Daily tabloid reports about Chris Brown and Rihanna's tumultuous relationship, the back story, the domestic dispute that prompted Chris to turn himself in to Los Angeles police and talk of reconciliation have dominated the news since the February 8 incident.
But today Oprah takes on the topic in a one hour special on teen dating that will include interviews with youth as well as fellow television host Tyra Banks, who will reveal why she is moved by the topic.
On last Friday's broadcast of Oprah the media mogul made it
clear that she did not think Rihanna should continue dating Chris. "If a man
hits you once, he will hit you again," she said in an emotional plea to the
camera, the day after Chris received two felony charges for his alleged attack
on Rihanna.
The controversy has prompted a wide range of reactions.
The day after Chris turned himself into Los Angeles authorities for questioning and was released on $50,000 bail, he was dropped from his endorsement deal with Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company, the manufacturer of Doublemint Gum.
Wednesday, he withdrew his nomination from Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards.
Industry insiders have been divided.
But many of Chris' adoring female fans have continued to show him unwavering, rather alarming, support. Support that even withstood the shock of the leaked LAPD photo of Rihanna, bloodied and bruised, that surfaced weeks later.
In particular, I was troubled by the messages from girls I read on Rihanna's MySpace page the day the news broke that she was allegedly beaten by Chris.
I went to Rihanna's page thinking I was going to find words of encouragement and support from her fans. But it was the opposite.
One girl accused the Barbados-bred singer of bringing the
attack on herself. The girl cited a rumor that claimed that Rihanna had given Chris
Brown a sexually transmitted disease as justification of Chris' alleged attack.
Another told Rihanna not to worry because she was sure that the popular female singer would be able to sort out her differences with the 19-year-old heartthrob.
A different MySpace friend commented that whatever had happened between Rihanna and Chris was their private business.
That night, I did not read one post from a woman outraged that Rihanna had been victimized.
This reaction from girls made me wonder why many appeared to be desensitized to domestic violence.
If girls are quick to dismiss this incident as warranted when provoked then this problem is bigger than the issue facing the pop stars at the center of the latest tabloid controversy.
Is this how young girls generally respond to domestic violence in their own lives or are these particular girls just so infatuated by Chris' celebrity that they would be more inclined to tolerate such behavior?
I had my own opinions, but considering all the attention this news story was getting, I wanted to talk to actual professionals who work with teens involved in domestic disputes to see if this reaction is consistent with what they experience.
Domestic violence is quite rampant among teens. Forty
percent of teenage girls aged 14 to 17 say they have been abused or know
someone their age that has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, according to the
article When Love Hurts: Teen Dating Violence published in a newsletter by the
Jenesse Center, Inc. The Los Angeles
based women's shelter wrote the story in response to the Chris Brown and
Rihanna altercation.
I spoke two teen girls that I know personally and each has a close girlfriend who has complained about being physically and mentally abused by their current boyfriends.
Angela Swan, an attorney who specializes in juvenile dependency cases in Los Angeles County, says that it is common for young women to downplay the male perpetrator's role in inciting the attack. "I see it all the time, the woman taking on the blame," says Swan. "They will say, ‘I set him off,' ‘He didn't push me that hard,' or ‘The kids were in the other room.' They kind of minimize what is going on."
A supervising nurse in Southern California, who spoke with me on the condition of anonymity, says that when perpetrators actually bring their victims to the hospital, they often justify their assault. "That's what I see in the hospital when females come in," says the nurse of 22-years. "When the guys come in with them, they will say, ‘She did this to me.'" Regardless of the explanation, the hospital is required to call the police. "We always call the police and it will end up that the female does not want to press charges."
Sometimes when police respond to a 911 call, the female victim says that the perpetrator has apologized and she has forgiven him, but the authorities still have to intervene. Erick, a Los Angeles Police Department officer, who asked that his last name not be used for this article, attributes the female victim's reluctance to press charges to a "cycle of violence."
"We can't force anyone to talk to us," says Erick, "but we
try to reason with them. If it is a first offense we suggest counseling. Sometimes
it's anger management. The perpetrator could also be forced to go by the
court."
Low self esteem is a core issue plaguing young girls, says Leslye Johnson, a group home administrator in California's Riverside County. "Young girls just don't value themselves so they feel like that kind of behavior is acceptable," Johnson says. "If they are with someone who has money, putting up with what they do to them, from the girl's perspective, is okay." This is especially the case if the person is famous like Chris Brown.
Arlene Hackel, a Riverside, California children's services social worker, says that the way society views women contributes to young girls' low self esteem. "Society in general has come to view the female with disrespect and disregard," she says. "It is acceptable for young women to not have self respect and to allow abuse."
But it is not just the victims of domestic violence or those who have witnessed it who accept it. Some argue that popular culture is fueling the message that men, especially those with wealth and status, are more important than women.
Tarana Burke sees this first hand as the executive director of Just Be Inc., a Philadelphia-based program that aides young women of color in developing a strong sense of self worth.
"So now we have little baby girls who think that Rihanna, as talented and beautiful and successful as she is, should somehow be grateful for or is indebted in some way to Chris Brown for choosing her," says Burke.
"We accept this behavior from men in our communities and our families and we let our little girls see it and develop their own understanding of what it is to be a girlfriend or wife," Burke adds. "These remarks and the sentiment attached to them are the consequences."
Bassey Ikpi was shocked that the preteen girls in her Washington, D.C.
poetry class were quick to condemn Rihanna after her attack.
A 12-year-old girl told Ikpi that Chris hadn't done anything wrong and should not go to jail. "He should get community service," the child said. But even worse, she admitted that if she had been beaten by Chris that she would not have reported it to the police.
"He won't do it again because then he'd be with me and I wouldn't say anything to make him mad," the girl told Ikpi. "I'd just be happy he was with me and let him know it. Rihanna should have just been happy to be with him instead of making him mad enough to hit her. Now his life is all messed up. That's not fair."
Those in abusive relationships or accepting of them don't always have the best reference points for identifying healthy courtships.
In press interviews, years prior to this incident, both Chris and Rihanna spoke openly about growing up in homes where domestic violence and or drug abuse prevailed.
"Youth need help identifying when they are in an unhealthy situation," notes the Jenesse Center newsletter. "Often times, young people do not recognize abuse when it is happening."
Recent reports that Chris and Rihanna have reconciled are rumored to be married and even recording an apology song sparked a public outcry. When Chris released a statement the week following the incident, he mentioned being "saddened" by what had transpired and that he was seeking the counseling of his pastor and mother. However, it is unlikely that he could have received adequate therapy in the few weeks that have passed.
When representing a victim or perpetrator in court Swan has
seen judges order perpetrators to take a 52-week battered course.
There is a strong need for education and dialogue about domestic abuse. Karen Earl, executive director for the Jenesse Center, thinks everyone should get involved in the discussion.
"I think we need to have simple communication that it is not okay," says Earl. "Nobody should hit you and you don't hit anybody." The Jenesse Center spearheads a number of activities to build self esteem.
"When you feel good about yourself you are less likely to be mean to somebody or to accept cruel treatment," Earl adds. "It is a known issue that if not taken care of when they are kids, they grow up with low self esteem. To really get to the genesis of this issue, if it is not taken care of now we are failing our children. And I mean to be that dramatic. I want to be dramatic."
For resources on domestic violence among teens see the special feature on Oprah.com. You can also call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at (866) 331-9474 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. Additionally, call the info line 211 for resources in your area.


Mine your own business!!!
Maybe Chris Brown was confused.. you don't know what goes through his head! So Rhihanna do what ya do!
Rihanna is indeed a grown woman and is capable of making her own choices, but I just don't see how you could stay with a man after he threatened to kill you and beat you to a bloody mess. Maybe she really loves him or maybe she is staying with him out of fear, whatever the case, the media should really back off of them and let them have some space. ....................Of course the American public can't do this because they just have to know about every bathroom break a celeb takes.
And i agree a man should never put his hands on a woman EVER! I don't care id she was annoying him,hitting him,backtalking him what ever NEVER should he hit her.And the same goes for women.
Unless it's for self defense you should never put your hands on another person.
What chris brown did was NOT self defense! pushing her out of the car beating her while he was driving and BITING her ear! He could have quickly got out of the car and called the police if he showed the bruises he got from her but no he went as far as making death threats.
So chris brown fans love his music love his rapping whatever but to support him on what he did?
You are in ignorant shallow person who needs to pay attention in school next time.