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Christian Porn

Posted Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:54pm PDT by Jill Sobule in Jill Sobule and The Provocateurs

I spent my first twelve dollars ever on online porn. Before you judge, let me inform you that this porn has been read and approved by... God himself. Marriageromance.com is "a Christian marriage site where couples share marriage and romance writing." Here was one testament:

Marriedsville--Enjoying Moral Fantasies

In the past few years, my wife and I have been enjoying a new freedom in the bedroom. For 15 years, we believed what society told us: sex is either stifled, predictable, and tightly controlled, or it is perverse and sinful. However, after reading Christian websites like marriagetakes3.com, we came to realize that the marriage bed truly is pure. We discovered, to our delight, that if it doesn't violate God's commands, and it doesn't violate our spouse's comfort, then it is OK. As a result, we went out and bought items like erotic board games, edible body oils, vibrators, and more. We found that referring to our body parts with "naughty" slang words during sex was not a sin. Our sex life was revolutionized!

There are stories, love letters, discussions groups (on, for instance, if and when masturbation is okay), and poems. Here is one of the more racy poems about the end of abstinence:

A long time coming

It's been a long time coming _Waiting for you, my wife, my mate _a long time waiting, _lying naked on the bed _waiting to consummate __Our wedding day so long and trying _but now we are here, moaning and sighing _the sweat glistening off your shapely figure _my hard long shaft, deep in your fissure ....

Fissure? Gross.

So, if you don't want to waste $12, like I did, you can get one month of marriageromance.com free by entering your own story or poem.

Should we all write one?

11 Comments

1. Noebie -
BLECH!!!

2. Eric -
I'm game!

3. -
Oh, there are swell Christians. I just thought the Christian erotica was kind of funny.

4. david -
i guess sometimes god isn't the one that leaves the threesome.

5. lance12 -
let them be. . . . tao lang nah!. . . .

6. bruce -
riiiight.........

7. J -
Sounds like God is a voyeur...

8. Nosferatu6677 -
Funny stuff

9. Yahoo! Music User -
Am sorry to say ,all of you who are into this kind of trash.Are totally wrong.What you do behind close doors is your business.Don't start putting God into your fithy lives.

10. Darriel -
my bad i thought u were talking biut christina agullara. but that othre stuff is wrong they shouldend do that they will all burn in hell fof it

11. Yahoo! Music User -
Actually, there is such a thing as a "fissure." An anal one, to be precise. It's sort of a hemorrhoid, only more painful.
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