Music Blogs

I've been writing this blog for what now has been about half my life. And I've learned, too, that certain bands have computer savvy fans quick to defend their idols, while other performers aren't quite so lucky. I've been dogging on the Pure Prairie League and it's as if no one cares! While I've been surprised by just how many Leon Russell fans are still alive and well and ready to stick up for their man. And Aerosmith fans are a vocal lot, while the enthusiasm for Uriah Heep hasn't quite kept up with the times.

And I am planning a list of the Ten Most Universally Loved Bands as well. Which, of course, will bring an outpouring of people letting us all know how much they don't love said bands. But that's the beauty of this whole schoolyard-sandbox! Everyone gets to play. Just don't knock me in the head with the metal shovel. Those things hurt.

10) Creed: Scott Stapp always looks so serious. Which only sets you up for being goofed on. And the fact that the band's music sounds big and important and makes Pearl Jam sound modest in comparison makes them ripe for ribbing. But their fans are solid, true believers and made them one of the era's most successful bands. Had they stayed together would they have saved or destroyed civilization? We now will never know.

9) Sonic Youth: When they opened for Neil Young back in the early ‘90s, Sonic Youth were suddenly thrust into the classic rock spotlight where their alternate tunings and indie-rock mutterings were suddenly cooked under the mainstream microscope. What made sense to people used to loitering in dark, dirty rock clubs was suddenly being served to the day-glo beer bracelet crowd and the results wasn't always pretty. Yes, the professional reviews have been pretty glowing, but it only seemed to breed resentment in other quarters where the band have been considered a tuneless fraud. Different strokes for different folks could've been the band's motto if it wasn't already a tired cliché.

8) U2: No matter how many times Bono tries to tell a joke or show off his light-hearted side, it still comes off as if he's merely stooping down to say hello to the little people. He's always insisted on indulging his flair for the dramatic and his band either play anthemic rock that makes you want to topple the castle walls or sleep-inducing drones that lack any jam-kicking drive. They're a bit like a religion. Their followers see a Messiah leading them to the promised land and their detractors see a snake-oil salesman hocking overpriced goo.

7) Rush: Let's hear it from the ladies in the audience! Oh, wait, there aren't any. This is a RUSH concert. The only women in attendance were dragged there by boyfriends who are skating on some pretty thin ice. I'm sure a handful of female Rush fans will write in to correct me on this point. But, really, take a look around. For whatever reason, Rush attract a predominately male audience who admire and analyze the band's every move. It's like a secret language where science fiction, objectivism and weird time signatures all converge and plan to sprout a new society. To outsiders, it's like Geek-A-Thon 2112 where Daffy Duck sings the company song for two hours.

6) Jimmy Buffett: Parrotheads can't get enough and have made Jimmy Buffett one of the richest, most successful performers of the past century. The man has his appeal. But to those not swayed by the pirate's life and who've never ventured down to the Florida Keys, the whole experience looks more like an insurance convention gone loco. 

5) Barbra Streisand: Could her following be much larger? She crosses over to so many different audiences who would pay any amount of money to hear her sing, to perform, to lift their spirits. And there are other people who would pay any amount of money to NOT hear her sing another note. One man's ceiling is another man's floor? One man's junk is another man's treasure? One man's daughter is another's man's annoying next door neighbor?

4) The Doors: I've never quite understood this, but it started in college and has followed me everywhere I write. Anytime I write about the Doors, it leads to people vehemently discussing how much Jim Morrison a) sucks, b) rules. If I say something positive, it's not positive enough. If I write something negative, I'm not nasty enough. Either Jimmy and the boys were genius or they were pretentious creeps who had the blues. Heck, my own problem is I like the pretentiousness and the drunken vocals. Those are the good parts in my book.

3) Billy Joel: The man has more songs on the radio than just about any performer I can name. Many people swear he's written the soundtrack to their lives. Many other people wish they could live in a world where never would another Billy Joel song visit their lives. It's like they should start planning retirement communities where you could decide whether you want to live the Billy Joel lifestyle or the Non-Billy Joel Lifestyle, the way they once offered Smoking or Non-smoking sections of a restaurant. It only seems fair.

2) Frank Zappa: His admirers laugh at his jokes and admire his musicianship--and collect an awful lot of albums. His detractors think he's smarmy, self-congratulatory and not nearly as smart as he thinks he is--and they don't collect a lot of his albums. Some people think he's funny looking--or that he named his kids some pretty freaky names--Dweezil?, Moon Unit? He was a true original. You just have to decide whether his distinct flavor and aroma is right for you. Somebody uses the Boysenberry syrup at the IHOP.

1) Grateful Dead: This one should be obvious. Deadheads are legion and they can discuss the variations of the different performances and they have the bootlegs to back up their theories. To those not turned on and tuned in to their trip, it just looks like a parking lot with no designated parking spots and too much mud to ever be bothered. Do you need to be high to "get it"? I can't tell. But the people seem to be having a good time. But it could all be a ruse of the CIA setting us up for a cataclysmic disaster. You decide if it's worth the risk.