Music Blogs

As someone with a good deal of Irish blood coursing through his cholesterol-squeezing veins, I figure all these lovely folks are ripe for a-punching. And while this blog would NEVER advocate actual violence towards anyone--we say give PEACE a chance--we like a nice cathartic imaginary moment from time to time just to keep our sanity. (I say this, I note, speaking in that disturbing "we" plurality.)

So what do you say "We" get started. Start bandaging up those hands!

Enya: Jeez, the first entry and already I'm picking on a girl! Big man, huh? Well, Enya's here to prove that you don't have to be a belligerent, overbearing, bar-hopping dude to deserve a swift peck to the kisser. Making bland, innocuous music for what seems like years is enough to agitate even the most mild-mannered bar patron. Is someone going to try and convince me that there's a "rocker" amongst her titles that I've been missing all these years?  Please enlighten!

Van Morrison: I've heard Van described in less than flattering terms for years, how he isn't a very "nice" guy and that he's absolutely impossible to be around. This is all hearsay, but it sure is a LOT of hearsay. And where's there's smoke, there's usually at least a little bonfire if not a full-on conflagration. His concerts, however, range from transcendent to monotonous. I'll take inconsistency if it means risk-taking and attempts to scale the heights, but if it's just laziness, then someone needs to kick the man's butt. Is it true he keeps a time clock onstage to let him know when his 90 minutes are up?

Sinead O'Connor: I've already placed Sinead on other lists very highly for her talents. But we must admit that this singer has been a tad too narcissistic over the years and a little too quick to let us know what she's thinking about subjects she doesn't seem to have thought much about. I still can't get over that she made it onto The Oprah Winfrey Show. It's like she'll be doing infomercials with Billy Mays next. And readers of this blog know how I feel about him.

Shane MacGowan: From the looks of him, this Pogues singer has already been punched in the face enough times that he probably wouldn't even notice if we hit him up one more time. You could argue what's the point?

Bono: You had to know Bono would top this list. I know he's Stopping World Hunger, Saving Africa, Ending Poverty, and Selling Cellphone Service, but for his good intentions and attempts at down-to-earth humor, he still comes off like a guy who's a little too cool for the rest of us mere mortals. And for this we wouldn't mind watching him scramble on his hands and knees on a barroom floor searching for his missing teeth. Maybe a Polident commercial would finally humanize this latter day Saint.