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The Top 10 Dylan Disasters

Posted Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:36am PDT by Rob O'Connor in List Of The Day
Bob Dylan is one of those untouchables. His artistic peaks are so far above mere mortals that his "failures" are considered part of the necessary process to reach his dizzying heights. If he misfires with an album, it's forgiven because he eventually bounces back with something only he could've written. What's a little "Wiggle Wiggle" between friends?

His new album Together Through Life is already receiving some pretty good reviews--and while some of that is surely part of the accumulated good will that five decades of musical service will bring a man, it's also a testament that he's re-found much of the musical footing that eluded him through certain periods. We'll politely call them "the ‘80s."

Loving the man's music and every crazy antic as much as I do, I find his disasters to be equally important. Anyone can list his monumental achievements. That "Like A Rolling Stone" sure was a good one, doncha think? Enjoying his weirdness is the key to enjoying the man

Here are ten Dylan moments that would surely sink a lesser artist.

10) Talkin' Bear Mountain, Talkin' World World III, Talkin' Anything: Early Dylan finds the young man occasionally searching for his voice and finding Woody Guthrie instead. Sure, he wrote "Blowin' In The Wind" and "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right" and plenty of unbelievably great tunes, but he also got caught up in that "Talkin'" mode of his folk forefathers and that stuff is pure Ambien without the amnesiac gambling. For those of you who think listening to Dylan sing is a painful experience, I dare you to listen when he's just talking.

9) Renaldo And Clara: I know you have to see the four-hour version to really "get it." What is this--a Peter Bogdanovich documentary on Tom Petty? Fact, Dylan is not a filmmaker. He's got lots of ideas and ambitions but Fellini he is not. Sure, Renaldo And Clara has become a time capsule piece, but I have yet to meet anyone who's sat through the entire film--straight. And in real-time. Fast-forwarding doesn't count.

8) Self-Portrait: I'm actually quite fond of this album, but it is truly lousy. The live tracks from The Isle Of Wight sound practically inspired next to "All The Tired Horses" and "Wigwam," tracks necessary strictly to make this a double album. It sounds like Dylan trying to find a way to alienate his entire audience in one fell swoop. For that, it is a true success. The playing is stock. The singing is without effort and the overall sound is like lite-FM. And those are the good points. I think he even hums in spots.

7) Tarantula: His biography Chronicles proves Dylan is a credible author. The years of experience have taught him well. But this conglomeration of "Deep Thoughts" is what you might expect from a guy very high on speed or marijuana locked in a hotel room with a deadline looming over him. Rock lyrics may sometimes be poetry, but poetry isn't always poetry. Sometimes it's just crap.

6) At Budokan: I've bought a ton of bad albums over the years and this one is near the top of the pile. I can handle his insistence on screaming the end of every line of every song on Before The Flood but these professional recordings from Japan, following in the tradition of Cheap Trick and Neil Diamond, to prove he had a following in Asia make his catalog sound like he planned it for a Vegas Revue or knew there would one day be a Branson, Missouri to potentially call home if all else failed.

5) Saved: I know a few esteemed critics who swear they like this album. I'm not picking on it for its "Born Again" statements. I'm picking on it because it's like playing a game of "Where's Dylan?" He's so lost in the hokey arrangements that not even a remix of this album could probably save it. Street Legal on the other hand was actually saved with a CD remix. How ironic is that?

4) Live Aid: Millions of people watching. Bob Dylan, the legend, invites both a senior member of the Rolling Stones--Keith Richards--and a junior partner--Ron Wood--to join him on stage. Apparently, the rules were no rehearsing and "must be drunk." Then it was onto a surefire crowd pleaser like the "Ballad Of Hollis Brown" that Wood didn't have to feel too bad about not knowing, since neither did anyone else! And then Bob follows with "When The Ship Comes In," yet another super hit that makes you wonder why the audience didn't just try burning the stadium down for fun.

3) Hearts Of Fire and his acting career in general: Again, Dylan is not a filmmaker and he's not much of an actor either. Unless you consider his mumbling to be a strategic underacting technique that Lee Strasberg never thought of. For Hearts Of Fire he even plays a washed up rocker who had one hit--"The Usual"--that wasn't even written by Dylan, but by John Hiatt! Bob wasn't inspired enough to write his own "hit" for the movie?  He had to farm it out! Way to coast, Bobby!

2) "Masters Of War" performance at the Grammy Awards: His bizarre acceptance speech where he thanked no one was brilliant in its weirdness. His decision to play "Masters Of War" at a time of the Gulf Invasion was his way of staying on top of things. The way he performed it, as if it was one long run-on sentence with no real point made for great watercooler chatter and leads us to what's become a Bob Dylan tradition for all his loyal concertgoers and number one on this countdown...

1) Playing "Name That Tune" at just about any show he performs: I will always respect the man for doing what he does. If he wants to rewrite the words and the melodies to his own songs, who am I to question it? They're his, after all. But it sure does lead to plenty of odd moments when you're standing in a crowd and Bob and his band have been playing something for over three minutes and no one's actually sure what song it is. Could it be "Joey"? Could it be "Masters Of War"? Could it be "Like A Rolling Stone"? Let's take a poll and find out. Turns out it's "Changing Of The Guard"? Shake that 8-ball one more time and check again.

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19 Comments

1. Yahoo! Music User -
Wow, O'Connor, everything you never....I mean...ever wanted to know about Bob Dylan. I enjoyed reading this stuff.

2. Yahoo! Music User -
Some would say, his worst disaster was going electric, but those people are probably not still around or no longer care. That was quite awhile ago (July 1965).

3. Gerry -
SLOW TRAIN COMING and SHOT OF LOVE can easily added to this list. Yecch!

4. ronny -
When he blinks it's a hit...

5. RY33 -
We saw Dylan for the first time last year. My friend was laughing because he realized that song that sounded vaguely like "All Along The Watchtower" was actually "All Along The Watchtower." I was disappointed he didn't do "It Ain't Me Babe" and the next day I read a review that included the set list. Oops! The third song was a completely rearranged unrecognizable version of "It Ain't Me Babe". I didn't recognize a note of it. Of course it doesn't help his voice is shot and the venue had the acoustics of a mud pit.

6. __A_YAHOO_USER__ -
Huh. Live Aid. Had to bring THAT up, didn't you Rob?

7. Yahoo! Music User -
RY33, that had to s*ck. Lemme' guess, the tickets were expensive, weren't they?

8. DUDE -
I don't believe you!...well,o.k.,...maybe I do....

9. waterbabe -
Helloo...The Best and still going strong. I just which I can Sail away with him on a Sail Boat and inspired him with more,, Hot, Hot songs.... about Florida Keys and the Island time, yeah baby come on don't think twice it's all right let's just get another "join" will be like the rolling stones and ill be just "Blowin" the wind or in the wind or something like that.......
Peace man!

10. SeanD -
Odd to call the 80's his down period then list only 3 things from the 80s and three limited things at that -- Saved, Hearts Of Fire, and Live Aid -- an album released in 1980, a one off show, and a movie.

80s Dylan wasn't bad b/c of Saved -- it was bad because of Dylan and the Dead, Knocked Out Loaded, and Down In the Groove -- basically his most fallow period.

And the whole Dylan live thing is weak. Maybe in 1991 -- when there was a bootleg titled "Name that tune" and he wore a hooded sweatshirt on stage. But I think we are well beyond that now.

And if you are guessing at a song -- hint -- it wasn't Changing of the Guards -- best I can remember he hasn't played that in 30 years give or take. I suppose the shows aren't for a newb to Dylan who might expect him to virtually walk out press play on the iPod and we can all sing along -- but no way someone confuses Like A Rolling Stone with any other song.

11. Kathy -
Ok SeanD. I am a looooooooooong time fan of Bob's and I've seen him many times over the years but these people are right. Going to hear him now IS like playing "Name That Tune". I saw him at the U of M on election night. I had to read the paper the next day to find out what songs he sang.

But if nothing else, I have a pretty good "where were you when..." story. I can say I was at a Bob Dylan concert on the University of Minnesota campus the night Barack Obama was elected president.

12. SeanD -
Kathy --

Really? I've seen him live quite a few times lately myself (28 times in the last 8 years, but who's counting:) ). Yes, the arrangements aren't album arrangements. Yes, some of the songs sound nothing like they used to. But I don't think I've gotten to a chorus without knowing the song. (some songs do take longer -- Drifter's Escape and Wicked Messenger are sung to virutally the same music).

I concede the Dylan live show is not for everyone -- but a "disaster" -- hardly. I'd say Dylan's commitment to touring 80+ shows a year at great prices -- and bringing along kick-a** musicians is a highlight of his later period.

13. steph -
Dylan and The Dead was el stinko as I recall....I loved the Dead at the time and I still returned the record to the store to get my money back...the only time I've ever done that.

14. Syorts5 -
Rob, this is one of your more competent lists. I cannot find fault here...

15. Aequitas -
I actually liked him in "Masked and Anonymous". Also had some great cameos (Val Kilmer in particular was memorable)

16. Blorto -
The greatest, most prolific songwriters do not fear writing crap.
If you are scared to produce crap, you will probably never produce gems either. Neil Young, and Paul McCartney have written and released tons of crap along with their masterpieces.

17. Rosey -
#1 got me laughing, nice.

I have been a Dylan fan for close to 20 years, my dad for over 45, and we still play the name that tune game at his shows.

18. Rich -
I taped Dylan and his band from Woodstock II. They started slow but by the time they were finished, I thought they were one of the best bands at the show, along with Metalica, Green Day and Primus.

19. StardustBound -
Ah, what the heck. One good one and 19 bad. In the end the good one is the only one that counts.
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