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We don't condone excessive drinking here at List Of The Day. We believe in moderation. We believe you should be of legal age and have to pass a test that proves that you will be a responsible drunk and not someone we have to pull out of a ditch somewhere. We also believe in world peace and we haven't gotten very far on that one.

Depending on how you want to see it, this list could've gone on for days, so instead, I tried to corral it down either to icons or performers you likely were offered a rain check for in the event that they didn't show or didn't perform up to the best of their abilities. Here are the ten acts who have been known to perform in an inebriated state. You will note the Cleveland Orchestra under the direction of George Szell did not make this list since they adhered to a professionalism that these other folks often failed to live up to. The world could use a few more George Szells. Don't you think?

10) George Jones: He didn't get the nickname "No Show" Jones for perfect attendance. His bouts with the bottle are almost as legendary as his voice. I've often wondered how it is none of these guys ever went blind from drinking some of the stuff they did. After all, you always read about people going blind from drinking moonshine. It just never seems to happen to anyone that matters. Why is this?

9) David Lee Roth: For all I know, he put Iced Tea in his Jack Daniels bottle. Because unless he's permanently drunk, David Lee Roth has always acted like he's half out of his mind. Why he hasn't done a reality show yet is beyond me. He's such a natural shoo-in. Imagine being someone who has to live with him? Or someone who's on his speed dial?

8) Townes Van Zandt: One listen to the song "A Song For" from his No Deeper Blue album should dissuade anyone who has pipedreams of being a good old wasted singer. His voice shakes and he sounds like he's trying to find a vein to slit. Granted this is a guy who claims the first song he wrote was called "Waiting Around To Die."

7) Janis Joplin: She loved the Southern Comfort, one of the worst tasting drinks I've ever had the pleasure of attempting. Then again, me and the boys used to mix it with Sprite. And "chase" it with a roll of life savers. All this did was create greater nausea. However, Joplin was made of stronger will and apparently no taste buds.

6) Warren Zevon: He eventually got clean and was a decent human being. But for a time Zevon was a monster. And I've got a recording of one live show in New Orleans where someone should've taken the piano away from him. His singing is outrageous and pleasurably over the top, but those piano chords are lethal. A man has to know his limits.

5) The Pogues: Shane MacGowan would be very disappointed if he didn't make this list. He will also be there for my list of Orthodonical nightmares.

4) Metallica: Well, I'm told their nickname was Alcoholica. How they could play those intricate songs that are known to cause carpel tunnel syndrome in laboratory rats is beyond me. But then there are many things I do not understand. And probably don't want to know the answer to.

3) Replacements: The best thing about these boys is how they'd get horribly drunk and then punish the crowd with a set of crappy cover tunes instead of their own repertoire. Half the crowd loved them for it and the other half were "disappointed." I always saw the band as a "life lesson."

2) Robert Pollard: Supposedly, Pollard has a technique where half the beer he drinks onstage flows down his shirt. Not someone you want to hug after a concert. Then again, if you've ever been in the audience of a GBV show, you probably got a contact buzz from your own imbibing. And if not, they probably kicked you out and with good reason.

1) Jim Morrison: Jimmy gets the number one slot since he got to go on trial for public drunkenness and for allegedly waving his weenie at the crowd. He certainly didn't invent this kind of spectacle but he popularized it for a whole new generation. Thanks, Jim.