Los Angeles, the City of Angels. Or as I like to think of it, New Jersey with better weather! Seriously, it's one huge sprawling metropolis with people in cars trying to run each other over. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't tune into the Weather Channel and see that it's just like Randy Newman says, another perfect sunny day. How anyone accomplishes anything when the weather is that grand is beyond me. I live in a puddle, a cold, miserable puddle. Yahoo! put me here on purpose. So I wouldn't "lose focus." It's working. There are only 260 more blogs to go before I sleep.

"L.A. Is My Lady"--Frank Sinatra: Sinatra decided to try to do for L.A. what he did for New York. Put it on the musical map. And for people much older than your average Miley Cyrus fan, Frank Sinatra meant a lot. They collected his lunch boxes, his key rings, his bottle openers, his tuxedo collection, his electric magnifying glasses. He was like the Jonas Brothers all rolled into one.

"Los Angeles"-X: X were from L.A. and named their first album after their adopted hometown and even wrote a song that was written about an intolerant soul who had to leave. Because that's what the government does sometimes. If you don't want to play by our rules, we can put you in a witness protection program and you can disappear in a tract house on the edge of the desert.

"I Love L.A."--Randy Newman: There isn't a heavy metal fan alive who doesn't love Randy Newman. After the cover of Born Again established Randy as ‘Kiss: The Next Generation,' the fans streamed in and made him a heavy metal icon on par with Ronnie James Dio (who's never forgiven Newman for his "Short People" comment), Rob Halford (who looks splendid in leather) and, you know, that dead guy.

"L.A. Woman"--The Doors: Any reader of this column knows that the Doors will always be mentioned at least four times a month. Which should lead to the usual ten or so comments where people tell me I don't like them enough. Because I'll gratuitously say something like "the singer sure got fat," or "he never wrote a line as good as ‘the snot has caked against my pants.'" The reason for the hate will be obvious. Because it's all too true.

"Los Angeles is Burning"--Bad Religion: There's always got to be someone who has to take a good time and make it terrible. Bad Religion are like the guys who come to the party and flatten all the soda and air out all the bags of chips until everything's stale. They take over the stereo and play unlistenable noise and ruin the fun and friendly volleyball game. So, of course, they can't just enjoy their good fortune of being allowed to live in California. They have to tell us it's burning. No, pal, as you see, the Motor City is Burning. You've just got a little spark!