Music Blogs

Being Jakob Dylan has to be difficult. His new Rick Rubin produced solo album, Seeing Things, is quite good, but he's still the son of that other guy, Bob Dylan, to whom people not even related get compared to on a regular basis. The one thing you have to admit is that if there ever was a "New Dylan" on the music scene, Jakob certainly qualifies.

Growing up in the shadow of fame and greatness has to be unusual. People want to know you because your mom or dad is so cool? Kids are supposed to be horrified by their parents. And parents are obligated to embarrass their children whenever possible. Going into the family trade is risky business. I wouldn't want any son of mine trying this blogging business. He belongs in the coal mines or the North Pole with the rest of the elves.

What any reasonable parent wants is simple. A tax deduction for each child and what in business is called ROI--a return on investment. You want your child to succeed and pay for your nursing home and new teeth. Can't say I blame you.

Here are 25 notable musical offspring. I didn't say most successful. In the eyes of their parents, they're all winners!

25) Kelly Osbourne--Ozzy Osbourne: When will Kelly return to her music career? Some say she can't sing. But that's never stopped anyone before! And she's had hits! Why not have some more?

24) Nelson--Ricky Nelson: I feel really bad that I left these boys off the list of Worst Hair Metal Bands, though they were really more pop now, weren't they? Did they have better hair than their dad? Seems like it. But then back when dad was a star, you'd get strung up for having hair that long. People thought the Beatles had long hair.

23) Dweezil Zappa--Frank Zappa: Not just Lisa Loeb's old flame, but a guitar player with a crazy name. And with a name like Zappa, you got to think of something to go with it beyond "Frank." I might have held out for something more alliterative, say, Zippity, or Zorro. But then I might also have thought, "This kid will have to go school one day" and just named him Hank.

22) Hoku--Don Ho: I'm told she's making a comeback. I can't wait. Her father defined Hawaii and now she can define one of the other Hawaiian islands. Maui is due. But should that be too much Hawaiian exposure, maybe we can hand her off to American Samoa and see if it takes.

21) Jordan Zevon--Warren Zevon: Jordan has a new album. Interesting that he never released anything while his father was alive. Was he just slow at getting it together or did his father threaten his life? If you've read Warren's ex-wife's excellent I'll Sleep When I'm Dead: The Dirty Life And Times Of Warren Zevon, you might think that maybe somewhere in the back of his head, Jordan knew about his father's good aim with a pistol. And his sick sense of humor. I'm not saying Warren would've thought it was funny to put a hole in his kid's leg, but then again he might have thought it would be funny in theory.

20) Arlo Guthrie--Woody Guthrie: His father is an American legend. Arlo got to play at Woodstock and had that interminably long song about Thanksgiving called "Alice's Restaurant." He recorded a bunch of albums that some people liked and he even formed his own record label and is also, like many people in the 21st Century, available as a website!

19) Jason Bonham--John Bonham: Well, it seems that Jason Bonham inherited his dad's ability to bang on the drums and luckily has avoided his father's penchant for overpartying. Or if Jason does indeed overparty, he has done so with far better luck. That's the thing about genetics, you never know which ones you're going to get. At least he's playing in Led Zeppelin these days and not Damnocracy. Or is he?

18) Justin Townes Earle--Steve Earle: This Earle has also had his dalliance with drugs and is now ready to pursue his own solo career as an alt.country troubadour just like his dad. And with that extra "Townes" thrown into his name, he has to live up to not just father Steve, but father Steve's favorite songwriter, Townes Van Zandt. Not that there's any pressure on the kid. I hope he hangs with Hank Williams III and works on a revenge strategy of some sort.

17) Ziggy Marley--Bob Marley: The worst part about being the son of a legend isn't the fact that there's no conceivable way for you to make the same impact, it's that you lost your father at so young an age that you'd trade his legend for the chance to spend some actual time with him as your dad. And no amount of handshaking from well-intentioned strangers telling you what your father meant to them can change that. So, if Ziggy got a little leg up for his association, by all means sit at the head of the table and soak it up.

16) Nancy Sinatra--Frank Sinatra: When your father is the Chairman of the Board, I guess you can slink around in mini-skirts and thigh high boots and know that no one's going to mess with you. Or maybe she's really just that tough and would poke a hole in your Toughskins just for looking at her the wrong way. In any case, while she's known for "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'," she did record a whole bunch of other stuff worth hearing.

15) Enrique Iglesias--Julio Iglesias: Sometimes a heartthrob begets a heartthrob. What can you say? Just look at those cheekbones and tell me management didn't say "That boy has got to be able to sing." Even if he couldn't, they'd find a way. Housewives just want to have fun, too.

14) Liam Finn--Neil Finn: Big in New Zealand. Practically a made-up country. Who can keep tabs on what's really going on there? I could tell you I'm a huge star in New Zealand and who would know the difference? Are you going over there to check up on it? Do you know how long that plane ride is? Enough to say, "forget it, you're huge in New Zealand." Crowded House did eventually garner some fame here in the U.S., but we were more resistant than our European counterparts. And Liam Finn is following in his dad's anglo-friendly pop tradition. Which means he'll be huge in New Zealand and not so much here.

13) Julian Lennon--John Lennon: Yes, he sounded an awful lot like his dad. Hmmn, I wonder how that happened. He also looked quite a bit like him, too. Can we blame him for that, too? Of course not. At the onset of his career, it looked as if he was going to become quite popular. He had real hits! But then it stopped. And then eventually he stopped. And we can do is imagine what could have been. (Ok, that's one's a punishable offense on my part.)

12) Natalie Cole--Nat King Cole: She even sang with her dad just in case you didn't realize, I guess. Or maybe she was hoping that she could introduce a whole new generation to her father's music. It's the kind of sentimental idea you can't really blame a person for trying. These days scientists virtually have the means to clone us all. For sentimental reasons that might seem like something worth doing. For logical reasons, it would be a mess. Talk about identity theft.

11) Wilson Phillips--Brian Wilson, John and Michelle Phillips: Carnie and Wendy Wilson and Chynna Phillips. This is what happens when famous parents arrange play dates with their other famous friends' kids. They don't just play in the sandbox or try to set the neighbor's house on fire; they decide to form a singing group. And then do it. And then sell lots of records.

10) Lisa Marie Presley--Elvis Presley: Just because her dad was the King of Rock n' Roll didn't mean this princess had to have a recording career. It was natural that she'd give it a shot if she got bored. Who wouldn't be at least curious to see what would happen? And she did OK, all things considered. I just hope she signed smarter management contracts.

9) Rufus Wainwright--Loudon Wainwright III & Kate McGarrigle: Only one Wainwright per list. So Martha sits this one out. Rufus went to good schools, released critically acclaimed albums and even battled meth addiction. If he ever decides to stop making music, he can always fall back on writing his autobiography.

8) Jeff Buckley--Tim Buckley: In one sense, they had good luck. Both were good looking young men who attracted an audience with their unusual vocal styles and unorthodox musical approaches. But they also had very bad luck. Dad liked heroin while son drowned in a river. They've both become legends in that Live Fast, Die Young club. They probably would've preferred to make more music.

7) Shooter Jennings--Waylon Jennings and Jessi Colter: This kid has a chip on his shoulder--or at least he likes to wear shades--and it should be no surprise why. His dad was a defiant one and his mom wasn't exactly a stay-at-home mom either. He could've rebelled and gone into banking, but he decided to fall in with the family business. The hours were more to his liking.

6) Rosanne Cash--Johnny Cash: The daughter of a legend with legitimate talents of her own, Rosanne's one of those unusual people who's managed to make her music confessional and yet keep a certain professional distance. As an educated and worldly person, she's seen more than most of us can even imagine. And she's dealt with more death over the past few years than any person should be expected to. And you wonder why her albums aren't so cheery?

5) Teddy Thompson--Richard and Linda Thompson: With both parents being cult-favorites, Teddy almost has a built-in following. Cult audiences tend to be loyal. And since he's shown that he has actual talent, well, that helps, too. Whether he can break through to a larger audience? His dad tried for decades. But one freak hit and everything could change. At least for a year or two.

4) Miley Cyrus--Billy Ray Cyrus: This is what I'm talking about. Put your kids to work, so you don't have to! Yee-Haw! Miley practically prints money these days. At a time when oil prices are where they are and people are losing their homes, parents still find the scratch to send their kids not to college, but to a Miley Cyrus concert and then of course there are the lunch boxes and swimsuits and whatever other stuff they can put her likeness on... It really is a shame my kids are going to grow up to be ugly.

3) Norah Jones--Ravi Shankar: I wonder if she listens to side one of The Concert for Bangladesh or if she skips it like the rest of us?

2) Jakob Dylan--Bob Dylan: Can you imagine trying to negotiate your allowance? "Dad, can I have 10 dollars a week? And don't answer me again with ‘How many roads does a man walk down before you call him a man?' I just want $10. Is that so hard to come by in this house?"

1) Hank Williams, Jr.--Hank Williams, Sr.: I didn't just pick him because someone said my photo looked like I was ready for some football. Jr. against all the odds managed to wrangle out a long, consistent career. The son of one of country's most enduring legends, Jr. kept it together somehow. Now it's up to number III, who's got a new album planned and once played with Pantera's Phil Anselmo in Superjoint Ritual. These Williams boys sure do look for trouble.