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You know, I don't think I've ever been so conflicted, so existentially torn, about an American Idol finale. Seriously, I feel like I'm in the middle of some sort of odd reality-TV love triangle, forced to choose between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now. Because my heart is rooting for one man, yet my brain tells me to vote for the other. So, should I follow my heart or my head when making my official pick for the season 7 winner? I just don't know...

See, my heart fully belongs to David Cook. I've been Team Cook almost since day one; conversely, I have never, EVER understood all the rammed-down-the-throat hype surrounding David Archuleta (a boy who can muck up his lyrics repeatedly, sap all the soul out of a Chris Brown song, and sing an entire season's worth of material with his eyes wide shut, and yet somehow never once end up in the bottom three).

David Cook is the contestant for whom I might actually fork over my hard-earned Yahoo! paycheck to download an album or watch in concert. David Cook is the contestant whose name I can more easily imagine seeing in lights (and not just because his surname's much shorter, thus saving a whole lot of electricity in this green-conscious era). The bottom line is David Cook is the true rock star to me, the total package, the real deal.

David Cook is "Mr. Right."

So...why am I conflicted about following my heart and endorsing Cook? Honestly, it's only because I care. Hoping that Cook actually loses is an act of true tough love; I only have his best interests at heart. See, I fear that winning American Idol could actually RUIN David Cook's career. And I don't want that.

Let's fact it, AmIdol still has little cred in the rock 'n' roll world. Chris Daughtry was obviously better off losing, and Cook--who's long been promoted by Fox/19 as Daughtry 2.0, or Daughtry With Hair--would probably be better off as well. I mean, just LOOK at all the humiliating hokeyness the Idol producers force Cook to mime along to on the show: those dorky disco-dancing medleys, those lamely lip-synched Ford car promos, etc. Do you think that's the kind of puppetmastered career Cook wants for himself? I say let Cook come in second, then he'll go off and sign his own record deal in record time (probably a more lucrative deal than he could secure as the "winner" of Idol's iron-clad recording contract), and he will make the sort of album he WANTS to make--not the kind of watered-down, Diane Warren-penned, Goo Goo Dolls-lite pap that BMG would probably force him to record.

If David Cook loses Wednesday night, in a way it'll actually be a victory. He's won already, really. So, my heart is still Team Cook, but my brain is cheering on Team Archuleta.

David Archuleta is "Mr. Right Now." Even Vote For The Worst agrees!

Archie is probably going to win anyway; this year's Idol viewing audience is the series' oldest-skewing yet, so you just know all the grannies and shut-ins are going to speed-dial Li'l David's voting number to ensure their golden boy wins. These older viewers adore Archie because he's what they want young people to be: They want so badly to believe that today's teenagers are lovably non-threatening dorks, not profanity-and-textese-spewing emo boys like Danny "TMTH" Noriega or stoner dudes like Jason "I Was Thinking Bob Marley!!" Castro. So I predict Archie will win and go on to become the even gentler, kinder Clay Aiken. Meanwhile, Cook will become the hotter, hairier Daughtry, and will probably outsell Archuleta in the long run.

You know, since I've already assumed Archuleta is going to win, maybe this entire blog is my subconscious coping mechanism, my way of bracing myself for that inevitable dreaded outcome. Wow, I'm getting pretty psychoanalytical (or psychobabbling) here, huh? Well, if you want even more in-depth Idol analysis, check out other experts' predictions and picks HERE.

And in the meantime, root for David Cook! I mean Archuleta! Damn, I don't know what I want anymore...