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You Don't Mess With The Lohan

Posted Tue May 27, 2008 4:09pm PDT by Lyndsey Parker in Reality Rocks

Not content with ruining (oops, I'm sorry, I mean managing) just one of her daughters' lives, Dina "One Tough Mother" Lohan has now turned her momagerial attentions to her younger, as-yet-uncorrupted meal ticket (oops, sorry, I mean daughter): poor little Ali Lohan.

And she's chronicling Ali's career trajectory from 14-year-old, freckle-faced innocent to firecrotched rehab resident/tabloid target on her new E! reality show, Living Lohan.

I smell an Emmy!

Anyway, according to the E! website, Ali is "outspoken, beautiful beyond her years [editor's note: um, that sounds a little pervy], a bit of a rebel...she's the girl young teens look up to when they've outgrown Hannah Montana. She's determined to achieve success--but she's savvy about the pitfalls of fame."

Well, that all sounds fine and good, but judging by this Christmas song recorded in 2006 by a heavily ProTooled Ali, I think Dina has her work cut out for her:

However, Ali also portrays a younger version of her elder sister in Lindsay Lohan's presumably autobiographical family-drama video, "Confessions Of A Broken Heart (Daughter To Father)," and her acting skills seem to be pretty decent here:

Then again, just like it probably wasn't very challenging for Eminem to play a white Detroit rapper in 8 Mile or for Courtney Love to portray a smacked-out nutjob in The People Vs. Larry Flynt, it probably wasn't too much of a stretch for Ali to take on the all-too-familiar role of the traumatized spawn of completely dysfunctional stage parents.

So, will Living Lohan be as exploitative and sensationalistic as "Confessions Of A Broken Heart"? Or as trite and ho-hum as "Christmas Magic"? Stay tuned. Or, don't.

5 Comments

1. Yahoo! Music User -
When will the media or T.V. Producers say enough is enough, bad enough Her Mom was voted by a group on Moms to be one of the best of the year ( yea!! right ) and now to start a reality show to showcase or ruin another teens life, there has to come a time when the parents like Britney's mom are looked at more for child abuse then promoters.
These are also parents that write books on parenting ( and we worried about Dr. Spock when we were young ).
I have a new idea for a reality show called " How to screw up your kid in no time "

Just my Thoughts......

2. Yahoo! Music User -
P.S. I know your talking about Lindsay's Mom but I had to also say Britney's mom as well as the Simpson's dad should be mentioned.
enough said, it is sad the parents trying to live stardom through thier kids no matter what the cost.

3. Lindsay -
How did the Lohan sisters manage to make that god-awful video without Dina crashing the project? I can't imagine her wanting those 'Confessions'--well--confessed, not in front of the world anyway. On the other hand, if I were her, I'd rather cop to Lindsay's video over that vomit-evoking 'Christmas Magic' crap any day. They are both wretched. Blech.

4. Writeheart -
Though my apathy on this subject and these people tells me not to bother posting, the thought that maybe mommie dearest (I mean madame Lohan) will read these or get wind of them is enough to make me try anyway. Just how much DOES a stage parent get for selling their children to the top bidder these days? And all because mama herself is no longer a viable commodity. Too, too sad.

5. Angela -
I actually saw a little bit of an episode unaware the Lohans were even making a reality TV show and it just made me feel bad for that family. I can't imagine why anyone would want to publicly humiliate themselves on national television the way the Lohan family is inevitably going to do. This show is a perfect example of a woman who needs to get a clue that she is WAY to old to be acting like a teenager!
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