America's Cheesiest Dance Crew
Am I the only person whose parachute pants are in a knot over the fact that on the season premiere of America's Best Dance Crew 2 last night, Distorted X and Fanny Pak were in the bottom two?
What is wrong with you, America?
First of all, the day-glo-splattered, ghetto-blastered, Valley boy/girl crew '80s-obsessed Fanny Pak have got it going on--and I'm not just saying that because I'm an old-skool fan whose fave guilty-pleasure flicks include Valley Girl and Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo. Fanny Pak bring on the good times, and the Fast Times--and, to lapse into eighties-speak for a sec, they are totally tubular, bitchen, and radical to the max.
I'm glad Fanny Pak weren't sent packing last night, but it was close. Too close.
Meanwhile, Houston's Distorted X--whom the judges reluctantly had to eliminate last night--were another one of the strongest teams on the show. They had originality, sex appeal, and a whole lot more sass than that wack girly-girl pep squad Sassx7 (more on them in a sec).
America got it distorted when they didn't vote for Distorted X.
I guess a lot of horndog hetero males are voting for ABDC this season. How else to explain the lack of support for the aforementioned two crews (which feature some androgynous--some might argue downright queeny--male dancers/prancers), while insufferably bubbly Rutgers sorority pledges Sassx7 somehow made it through?
Sure, Sx7 are button-cute, and all of them can fill out their Laker Girl-style short-shorts quite nicely. But so what? Male viewers need to vote with their brains and their eyes, not their you-know-whats.
Besides, the laydeez in Distorted X looked hotter in their schoolgirl skirts than real schoolgirls Sx7 could ever hope.
Anyway, the bottom line is Sassx7 are still CHEERLEADERS, no matter how much they claim not to be. I think these girls doth protest too much.
I mean, if it looks like a cheerleader, walks like a cheerleader, talks like a cheerleader, and high-kicks and somersaults like a cheerleader...then it IS a cheerleader, a'ight? So these Sassx7 chicks are cheerleaders. Period. Someone vote them off so they can audition for Legally Blonde: The Search For The Next Elle Woods, an MTV reality show for which they are much better suited.
And by the way...if the voting public puts A.S.I.I.D. in the bottom two at ANY point during this competition, expect an even angrier blog than this. Don't get it twisted, people!
