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Avid American Idol viewers may recall that at the beginning of this past season, way back in the audition rounds, nine-months-pregnant Antoria Gillon went into labor while waiting for her chance to sing for Simon. Naturally, she didn't let a little nuisance like contractions stop her from completing her (initially successful) audition, but eventually she was rushed off to the hospital to give birth to a bouncing baby boy that she christened Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan. (Yes, "Idol" is the child's middle name--it's right there on the birth certificate.)

Apparently they start training Idols young these days--and I'm not just talking about Antoria's Baby Idol, or even about poor little David Archuleta, who was being aggressively stage-parented by infamous Papa Jeff pretty much the instant he exited the womb.

See, nowadays it seems that only weeks after the average American child learns to say "Mama" and "Dada," that kid starts fantasizing about stringing a few more words together in some sort of melodic fashion and auditioning for AmIdol. And in many cases, these kids' stage-mamas and stage-dadas are maybe too encouraging, never having the heart to sit their talentless tots down and, in a compassionately Paula Abdul-ish yet firm manner, inform them that THEY CANNOT SING. The result is thousands of tone-deaf tykes growing up with delusions of grandeur and eventually auditioning for Idol and other such talent shows, despite the fact that they sound like William Hung on a bad day.

The reason I'm bringing this gripe up NOW, when the season 8 AmIdol audition episodes are sadly still five loooonnnng months away, is because today marks the release of the kiddie CD Future Idols on Hip-O Records. Here's a little press-release blurbage on it:

"For kids ages 5 and up! Get your little American idol ready with versions of hits that kids (and parents) know and love! Future Idols is a new CD in a series from Universal Music Family developed specifically to entertain kids and not drive parents crazy!"

Well, the "not drive parents crazy" part sounds appealing. And I do like the fact that the singalong songs on Future Idols are children-friendly classics from musicals like The Sound Of Music, Annie, Bye Bye Birdie, The King & I, The Music Man, et al--as opposed to wildly inappropriate, Kidz Boppy-esque remakes of, say, "My Humps" and "Touch My Body." But what's this "get your little American idol ready" stuff? Ready for WHAT, exactly? And why did Hip-O have to call a compilation of kiddie showtunes "Future Idols" in the first place?

Look, I'm not some child-hating killjoy monster. If Future Idols fosters a simple love of song in our nation's youth, in a VH1 Save The Music sort of way, then hey, I'm all for it. I enjoyed singing as a child myself--and I still enjoy singing in the safe environment of a karaoke bar or my shower stall, despite admittedly having a voice that would make Paula Abdul reach for her pain pills. But if the Future Idols CD's intention is to fill ages-5-and-up kiddos' heads with dreams of auditioning for American Idol as soon as they hit the eligibility age of 16--AND to get them to start training for that big moment NOW--well then, I'm not so sure if that's such a good thing.

And if the latter scenario is the case, then I hope no new additions to the Hung or Malakar families get hold of this album. I'm just saying.