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Kaitlyn Maher: The Kid's Not All Right

Posted Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:56pm PDT by Lyndsey Parker in Reality Rocks

OK, I just want to state for the record, before I proceed with this post, that I am not some toddler-hating monster. Readers, please do not report me to Child Protective Services after reading this. I write this blog out of CONCERN, not scorn, for Kaitlyn Maher.

For those of you not watching America's Got Talent this season, contestant Kaitlyn Maher is an adorable, plucky 4-year-old girl. She sings pretty well for a 4-year-old. But the key part of that phrase is FOR A 4-YEAR-OLD. Her very young and raw talent just is not up to par with that of the older, more seasoned finalists (including some older children in familial bands like the Wright Kids and the Taubl Family). She has absolutely no business being on this show, a show that will award a $1 million contract for a full-time Las Vegas revue to its winner--presumably an adult winner capable of handling that much income, a grueling weekly performance schedule, and fast-lane life in Sin City. This little tot isn't even old enough to go to the bathroom by herself. How in the world is she supposed to put on a 90-minute Vegas show night after night if she actually wins this thing?

Furthermore, would anyone REALLY want to see Kaitlyn perform for 90 minutes, unless they were blood-related to her? Yeah, sure, Kaitlyn is cute. Like, fuzzy-baby-chick cute. So cute it's almost painful to look at her too long, with her missing teeth and askew hair bows and princess party dresses and Shirley Temple-esque chubby-cheeks. Probably the only reason she's made it this far, all the way to the top 20, is because she is cute. But can cuteness ultimately sustain a full-length Vegas show? I think not. Her schtick would get old (no pun intended) after about seven minutes.

And on that note, what will happen when she's not cute anymore? Every kid, no matter adorable she is at age 4, goes through a dreaded awkward stage. So if Kaitlyn wins America's Got Talent now, will she eventually lose her Vegas contract when she inevitably suffers from hormonal teenage acne that not even the strongest dose of ProActiv can cure?

Simply put, Kaitlyn Maher does not belong on America's Got Talent. Not YET, anyway. She should have never been selected for the top 40, and the viewing public should not have voted her through to the top 20 this week. And if she wins this competition, it will ruin not only this entire show but, much more importantly, her entire life. Because whether or not Kaitlyn has coasted through on cuteness or on actual talent so far, the main point is: It's cruel to keep her in this competition at this point.

See, while Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy performing on America's Got Talent at first--as she was oohed and ahhed and fussed over by the smitten judges and equally adoring live audience--now that the show has moved on to the stiff-competition round, she no longer seems to be having very much fun. Last night as she stood onstage next to scary, facially pierced firebreather Flambeaux awaiting her fate, she looked positively deer-in-headlights terrified, on the verge of tears, and utterly confused. It actually hurt me to watch her suffer:

Looking at Kaitlyn's frozen face of fear, it was hard for me to believe that the bright idea to audition for this show sprang from her 4-year-old brain. This girl is clearly not ready for prime time. She should have waited to audition for America's Got Talent season 16. Or, more, specifically, her parents should have waited before they dragged her to the auditions.

Anyway, things will only get tougher for Kaitlyn if she advances to the top 10. Or, especially, if she wins. She'll end up like Michael Jackson--who started singing as a toddler, was consequently robbed of his entire childhood, and now 45 or so years later is a baby-dangling wackjob shut-in with a chemically burned face and chimpanzees for friends. Or maybe Kaitlyn will become the next Britney Spears, shaving off her cute curly locks and forgetting to wear panties under her party dresses 20 years from now. Really, the best poor little Kaitlyn can hope for is to end up on VH1's "Celebreality" programming grid 30 years from now, with her own Breaking Bonaduce-style reality show chronicling her deeply ingrained emotional problems after growing up on television and in Vegas under the guidance of pushy stage parents.

For all these reasons, I say put Kaitlyn AND America's Got Talent viewers out of their misery. Let Kaitlyn go home and sing for FUN--to Kidz Bop albums or to Barney episodes or in school plays or whatever--for at least a few more years. Let whatever talent she has (and it's difficult to discern how much talent she really does have, at her tender age) develop for another decade or so. And then let KAITLYN decide if a career in music, on television, or in Las Vegas is something she wants to pursue. She may not be as cute and girly by then, but she'll be more ready for her close-up all the same.

2195 Comments

61. Paul -
A 4 YEAR OLD IN VEGAS??? ONLY IN AMERICA...TSK

62. michael a -
I am the writer for mikesworthlessopinion.com and I thought I was reading my own work. Very good job and I agree; she should be in a pre-school contest.

63. Exotica -
veryyyy true emma.... mine might not be able to sing in frond of a crowd(who knows) btu alll 4 year olds would be cute singing lol

64. Yahoo! Music User -
to all that you remember your youth being 4 is a special time in your development,but you need to understand that the entertainment industry has changed dramatically since the days of sirley temple when she was 4 yrs old ,let her be a kid and develop into the american idol that one day she may become

65. Mad -
what kind of parents would put her on???? some money grubby parents making babies to make money???

so sad...

66. Tess -
I totally agree! - I have a 4 yr. old I would never put her through that. Its absolutely horrible. She's a kid, let her be a kid, find nice Kid programs for her to be involved with if she loves to sing and perform. Look at Britney Spears, is that what they want their little girl to be one day. You only get one life, why be in such a rush. Shame on her parents!!

67. Cath -
I totally agree that she should not be on the show. Why haven't they had a age limit? They need one....

68. choochoo -
so true...it's cute to watch for like 5 seconds..then I"m like..where's the real talent! it's so ridiculous..

69. Leon M -
I think she`s just too young and should ENJOY her childhood rather than work night after night memorizing songs and be under all that pressure... She is cute as hell though and my 2 year-olds name is Kaitlyn so i love watching her sing but she`s too young for this :)

70. FrankS -
What's wrong with her parents? Are they trying to live through their daughter? Let her grow up in her own terms and time.

71. Judy -
I too say, "shame on the parents"! It's so easy to see that the adorable child has been conditioned to say only "thank you" to ANYTHING she is told...even if it requires another answer. She may like to sing but she does look very scared up there. I can just bet with these kind of parents they will put her on a pedistol and she will end up worse than Britney. She should be home playing with dolls.

72. Denise N -
To cute but way to young to be doing this type of show...

73. Laura -
That child does not belong there. Shame on her parents for putting her through all of that. Jon Benet Ramsey comes to mind.
There is a lot of other talent on that show that may not have a chance if she is not eliminated.

74. Yahoo! Music User -
Come on quit hateing!! Why did the show put her on in the first place!! If it's not for 4 year olds then why let her go on and on!!

75. PaulG -
IT WAS VERY SAD LOOKING AT THE LITTLE GIRLS FACE AND OBVIOUSLY SHE I AM SURE DIDN;T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT PIERS WAS SAYING.CUTE BUT NOTHING GOOD COULD COMEOF THIS EVENT AND WILL SCAR HER FOR LIFE AND DEFINATELY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ON THE SHOW.HAVE A NICE DAY

76. ClaudiaK -
Responsibility does lie on those that let her enter this competition in the first place, whoever did jusde the tryouts should have said NO! There should be a minimum age requirement on these competition's. las Vegas will not want a 4 yr old and besides I do not think Child Protective Services in Nevada would allow this girl to perform there. This is ridiculous. The parents evidently already put this girl into competitions and pagents but the show itself could have said NO!

77. Yahoo! Music User -
What happened with kids being kids. Parents, haven't we seen enough of what happens to our youngsters? Yes, Kaitlyn is great...for a 4 year old who should be performing at Christmas for her family...surely not in Las Vegas...what were her parents thinking?

78. Yahoo! Music User -
I have to agree with you as well. Sure, she is cute and can sing better than most 4 year olds, but she is 4 years old. She should not be in a competition like this with people that have a lot more experience and much better talent. Way too much pressure on a small child.

79. Ann -
IF THE JUDGES DIDN'T THINK SHE WAS RIGHT FOR THEIR SHOW, THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE VOTED HER ON THERE. GIVE THE KID A BREAK. SHE MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST SENSATION IN FOREVER!!!!

80. JohnY -
Right you are TP. I mean who's going to pay $100.00 to watch a 4-yr old sing? It's not her fault - her parents are responsible 100%.
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