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Kaitlyn Maher: The Kid's Not All Right

Posted Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:56pm PDT by Lyndsey Parker in Reality Rocks

OK, I just want to state for the record, before I proceed with this post, that I am not some toddler-hating monster. Readers, please do not report me to Child Protective Services after reading this. I write this blog out of CONCERN, not scorn, for Kaitlyn Maher.

For those of you not watching America's Got Talent this season, contestant Kaitlyn Maher is an adorable, plucky 4-year-old girl. She sings pretty well for a 4-year-old. But the key part of that phrase is FOR A 4-YEAR-OLD. Her very young and raw talent just is not up to par with that of the older, more seasoned finalists (including some older children in familial bands like the Wright Kids and the Taubl Family). She has absolutely no business being on this show, a show that will award a $1 million contract for a full-time Las Vegas revue to its winner--presumably an adult winner capable of handling that much income, a grueling weekly performance schedule, and fast-lane life in Sin City. This little tot isn't even old enough to go to the bathroom by herself. How in the world is she supposed to put on a 90-minute Vegas show night after night if she actually wins this thing?

Furthermore, would anyone REALLY want to see Kaitlyn perform for 90 minutes, unless they were blood-related to her? Yeah, sure, Kaitlyn is cute. Like, fuzzy-baby-chick cute. So cute it's almost painful to look at her too long, with her missing teeth and askew hair bows and princess party dresses and Shirley Temple-esque chubby-cheeks. Probably the only reason she's made it this far, all the way to the top 20, is because she is cute. But can cuteness ultimately sustain a full-length Vegas show? I think not. Her schtick would get old (no pun intended) after about seven minutes.

And on that note, what will happen when she's not cute anymore? Every kid, no matter adorable she is at age 4, goes through a dreaded awkward stage. So if Kaitlyn wins America's Got Talent now, will she eventually lose her Vegas contract when she inevitably suffers from hormonal teenage acne that not even the strongest dose of ProActiv can cure?

Simply put, Kaitlyn Maher does not belong on America's Got Talent. Not YET, anyway. She should have never been selected for the top 40, and the viewing public should not have voted her through to the top 20 this week. And if she wins this competition, it will ruin not only this entire show but, much more importantly, her entire life. Because whether or not Kaitlyn has coasted through on cuteness or on actual talent so far, the main point is: It's cruel to keep her in this competition at this point.

See, while Kaitlyn seemed to enjoy performing on America's Got Talent at first--as she was oohed and ahhed and fussed over by the smitten judges and equally adoring live audience--now that the show has moved on to the stiff-competition round, she no longer seems to be having very much fun. Last night as she stood onstage next to scary, facially pierced firebreather Flambeaux awaiting her fate, she looked positively deer-in-headlights terrified, on the verge of tears, and utterly confused. It actually hurt me to watch her suffer:

Looking at Kaitlyn's frozen face of fear, it was hard for me to believe that the bright idea to audition for this show sprang from her 4-year-old brain. This girl is clearly not ready for prime time. She should have waited to audition for America's Got Talent season 16. Or, more, specifically, her parents should have waited before they dragged her to the auditions.

Anyway, things will only get tougher for Kaitlyn if she advances to the top 10. Or, especially, if she wins. She'll end up like Michael Jackson--who started singing as a toddler, was consequently robbed of his entire childhood, and now 45 or so years later is a baby-dangling wackjob shut-in with a chemically burned face and chimpanzees for friends. Or maybe Kaitlyn will become the next Britney Spears, shaving off her cute curly locks and forgetting to wear panties under her party dresses 20 years from now. Really, the best poor little Kaitlyn can hope for is to end up on VH1's "Celebreality" programming grid 30 years from now, with her own Breaking Bonaduce-style reality show chronicling her deeply ingrained emotional problems after growing up on television and in Vegas under the guidance of pushy stage parents.

For all these reasons, I say put Kaitlyn AND America's Got Talent viewers out of their misery. Let Kaitlyn go home and sing for FUN--to Kidz Bop albums or to Barney episodes or in school plays or whatever--for at least a few more years. Let whatever talent she has (and it's difficult to discern how much talent she really does have, at her tender age) develop for another decade or so. And then let KAITLYN decide if a career in music, on television, or in Las Vegas is something she wants to pursue. She may not be as cute and girly by then, but she'll be more ready for her close-up all the same.

2195 Comments

81. J Wililams -
OMG! And what about Sharon asking her to say "Cheer Up Kelly." That's putting a lot on a 4 year old and borders on "using" the contestants for personal reasons. Get Kelly to a shrink, where she belongs.

82. BeverlyB -
You are absolutly RIGHT!! I blame the paretns first then the judges for keeping her on as long as they have.

83. CarolL -
I believe I am reading remarks from contestants relatives or the contestants themselves on little Kaitlyn............a little jealousy showing through??????
She is definitely talented and absolutely loves to sing. Leave her alone and I think Piers Morgan should leave the voting to America and go back to England where he belongs!!!!!!!!!! She has hit every note......which is more than I can say for most of the other contestants! And as far as handling things, I believe she is more mature than a long of adults I have run into.

84. Jess -
I agree with you. She has no place on this kind of show. It is not something she wants, but something her parents want. Let the kid be a kid. Also, how many adults are being voted off this show because this little girl is cute? C'mon! This is a show for big people!

85. Yahoo! Music User -
Give that little monkey a banana.

86. Yahoo! Music User -
Her parents are little more than pimps looking for a quick buck by prostituting their daughter, those who vote for her are her johns looking for some cheap thrills with no regard for the welfare of that child.

May as well just stick a needle in her arm and put her in a brothel.

87. Ray-RayH -
OMG! Finally somebody that agrees with me! This little girl is just plain annoying to begin with, and on top of that she is waaay to young to be a performer, and most importantly this little girl although "cute" can't sing for a crap. It made me especialy angry because the judges let her no talent self through over the dozen older kids that actually had talent! Like the 9 year old David boy, so I just want to know if the judges are on crack or do the REALLY think that this annoying squeaky tot can hold the attention of an audience for longer than like 5 seconds. And another thing, her parents should be slapped, thers no way i'd let me child especially a little girl even consider entering a contest to win a show in vegas the city of basically sex and sin that is clearly no place for a child.

88. billy k -
Welll Duh....from Olympic Gold in Gymnastics to Las Vegas????...she might lose her spot on the Chinese Olympic Team if she wins America has No Talent....

89. roger b -
she is adorable, maybe america needs a little princess, like a shirley temple, i know times have changed, but sometimes change isn't good, america can see this precious little girl sing and feel good, i don't think she will win the whole thing, but face it, when you are watching this little angel sing, it is an escape from 2008, away from the wars, away from the politics, away from the economic dire straits, so sing little kaitlyn, sing your little heart out, and if you should fail, thank you for your courage, your ability, and lifting our spirits.

90. Humpty Dumpty -
Torture to watch.

91. Sekino -
Parents who put a 4 year-old up for a stunt like that are never-made-it attention grabbers. I did not see that episode, but I bet the mom was all dolled up with sexy hair and a cocktail dress. And I don't buy that load that a four year-old 'wants' to attend: Such a young child might say they want to be a singer, or perform on a show, but any adult should know that in the child's mind, it is NOT the way they see it.

If a 10 year-old expresses the same thought, they might be old enough to understand the notions at stake. But there is a reason four year-olds have parents: to PROTECT them from unnecessary competitive, stressful, embarrassing, frightening situations.

Sorry but this sort of frivolous competition thrown on a kid just angers me to no end.

92. Chris W -
This is an obscenity that must stop - the possibility that a 4 year old might have a Vegas show is just beyond decency on so many levels. Her parents should be utterly ashamed of themselves. And the crazy people who think that "touching people's hearts" is a talent need to get back on their meds.

93. Bryan -
I can't believe you wrote 9 paragraphs about this. I stopped reading at (YAWWWWN) the 5th one. Have a vodka-tonic and chill out. You really think she'll make it? She won't, so don't worry.

94. Cardzfan -
I agree that she has not business being on this show any longer. Yes, she has done a great job so far stading in front of the crowd but last night when they were talking to her she looked upset. It's been great for her while everyone tells her how wonderful she is, how is she going to feel when she is not voted to stay on the show. I keep looking at her and the Zoop whatevers and wonder who with real talent could be on this show instead.

95. Stick -
If Patsy Ramsey were still alive I am sure she would agree completely. What are her parents thinking (other than how much money they can make off this little girl.)??

96. Stace -
She is adorable yes, but like everyone else, we all do agree.... she needs to go home and be a kid and when SHE is ready to come back, by all means, she should but as a teenager who knows what she is actually getting into. She is a cute and smart girl with a nice voice, but its not only unfair to her to be on the show at this point, its unfair to the judges, america and her fellow contestants because we all feel bad thinking of her leaving because she is ... so cute!.. Blessings to Kaitlyn, and come back in 8-10 years!

97. BULLDOG -
The money-grubbing parents need to just go to jail or better yet, die. I don't even watch this show but I agree with the blog 100%. How many of you have been to Vegas? Have you really SEEN Vegas? A four year old has absolutely no business being there as a tourist much less a performer. As for all you really smart morons who are talking about you hope she wins and you'd go to Vegas to watch her perform, take off the rose colored glasses, stop taking the drugs and come back to reality. You people have to be the dumbest, most moronic idiotic retards in the world. Shut up, take the girl off the show and let her grow up in a normal family where she doesn't have to be subjected to this kind of crap. Geezus what is wrong with this country???

98. Les -
Amen to that! Can't believe that they even let someone that young compete. Irresponsible parents. Plenty of those around.

99. Tink -
You're right, this was pretty disgusting.

I don't watch the show, I just saw your clip and another one where the judge tells her she's not quite there yet.

This is ridiculous to have a baby competing with adults. And grotesque.

100. AnnieR -
I was disturbed by her reaction to the comments made by the judges. It's pretty obvious to me that she has been put in pageants since she was a baby and is already brainwashed. She was like a robot, and the few things she did say came out as though she was programmed to say them. I think Child Protective Services should get involved before it's too late for her to retrieve her childhood.
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