June 16-23: The Week In Wayne, Winehouse & West
Well, it's been a big week in news--specifically Britney, Amy, hospitalization, and DUI news. What else is new, right? So let's get right to it...
First, Britney Spears's 17-year-old sister Jamie Lynn checked in to the Mississippi Southwest Regional Medical Center in McComb, Mississippi this week to give birth to a 7 pound, 11 ounce baby girl, whom she christened Maddie Briann. So now Britney's sons Sean Preston and Jayden James have a first cousin to play with--and, if the Spears clan sticks to its Jerry Springer-guest style, to possibly marry in about 18 years' time. Congrats to Aunt Britney and the entire family!
In less happy (but perhaps no less disturbing) news, this week Britney's British equivalent Amy Winehouse was rushed by her beleaguered father Mitch to a different hospital, the London Clinic, after she suffered what the press described as a "mysterious" fainting spell at her home. Gee, wonder what the "mysterious" cause of Amy's blackout was, huh? Could it have been the stream of controlled substances possibly pumping uncontrollably through her nearly collapsed veins? The fact that she weighs about 80 pounds and appears to subsist on a steady diet of cigarettes, Newcastle, and smoggy London air? The stress of her husband Blake Incarcerated's continued and indefinite imprisonment? The weight of her enormous beehive? Whatever the reason, as of this writing Amy is still in the hospital undergoing additional examinations, since her first batch of medical tests proved inconclusive.
No word yet on whether she'll be in any shape to perform as planned at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday celebration concert on June 27...but given Amy's flaky track record (no pun intended), Mandela might want to have another backup diva on standby. May we suggest Duffy or Adele? They're just as soulful, but way more reliable.
In related news, one of Blake Incarcerated's former prisonmates is now claiming that Blake recently wanted to put Amy's partner in crime, shambolic Babyshambles rocker Pete Doherty, in the hospital himself. Richard Lyttle (not to be confused with the celebrity impersonator) testified this week in London's Old Bailey Court that Amy's jealous husband--allegedly suspecting infidelity after learning that Pete had paid a visit to Amy's Camden home in the early morning hours--once offered him $40,000 to "smash [Pete] to pieces."
Yikes. That's one smash hit we're pretty sure Pete Doherty would like to avoid adding to his résumé.
Another musician making British-hospitalization news this week was Kid Rock, who had to pull out of a performance at England's Download Festival last weekend after he was rushed to a hospital complaining of stomach cramps and dehydration. But unlike Amy Winehouse, Kid Rock is already well on his way to recovery and back to rockin'.
By the way, on the subject of alcohol, other suspicious substances, and the havoc they wreak...there was a whole lot going on in DUI news this week. 
Snoop Dogg's wife and Fatherhood co-star, Shante Broadus, was pulled over and arrested in the O.C. last weekend; rapper Young Jeezy was charged with driving under the influence and speeding in Atlanta on Wednesday; and '80s pop/soul diva Taylor Dayne pleaded no contest to a reckless driving charge stemming from her March 6 arrest (she was sentenced to two years' probation and a Mothers Against Drunk Driving program).
Let's just hope that Amy Winehouse doesn't get behind the wheel any time soon, OK? Someone please make sure her daddy Mitch is there to pick her up when she is finally released from the hospital.
Snoop and Jeezy weren't the only hip-hoppers dealing with trouble this week, although not all these troubles were intoxication-related. 
However, alcohol probably played some part in Kanye West's disastrous Bonnaroo Festival appearance last weekend, when concertgoers--after drinking beer in the hot sun all day--were forced to wait almost two hours for his performance. Kanye didn't start playing until 4:30am, and it wasn't long afterward that audience members started booing. But according to multiple bloggers and the onstage comments of fellow festival acts Solomon Burke and Robert Randolph, Kanye basically acted like a total jerk, so maybe he had it coming. Hopefully Kanye will be more polite--and more punctual--when he plays Lollapalooza and the Virgin Mobile Festival later this summer.
Rapper Lil' Wayne had a much better time of it this week, when his much-awaited album Tha Carter III sold a whopping 1 million copies in its first week of release--a feat pretty much unheard-of in this a la carte iTunes age. This was in fact the biggest chart triumph since Kanye's occasional sales-feud rival, 50 Cent, sold 1,141,000 copies of The Massacre in 2005. Kudos to Wayne (and, grudgingly, to the aforementioned Kanye, who last year set records with his Fiddy-topping Graduation) for keeping the art of the album alive.
And finally, speaking of iTunes, Coldplay--whose fourth album Viva La Vida is expect to debut at #1 next week--have been accused of plagiarism. Brooklyn indie-rockers Creaky Boards claim that the Coldplay album's title track, currently being popularized in that ubiquitous iTunes ad, bears an uncanny similarity to one of their own songs--a song ironically titled "The Songs I Didn't Write." Creaky Boards even go so far as to allege--in a somewhat whiny, self-released viral video--that Coldplay frontman Chris Martin got the idea for "Viva La Vida" when he attended one of their shows at the 2007 CMJ Music Festival. We here at That's Really Week admit there is SOME resemblance between the two tunes, but it might just be a coincidence--plus, it's kind of hard to imagine Chris randomly popping up at some unknown band's CMJ showcase, you know? But check out the compare-and-contrast clip below and decide for yourself:
And thus concludes another confusing, bemusing, and occasionally amusing week in music "news we didn't write"...because this stuff is so good, it writes itself!
Come back next Friday for more updates--and until then, goodnight, and good music.
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Have A Baby, One More Time - Britney Spears's little sis is now a mom as well.
2) Amy Admitted - Winehouse enters the hospital after a "mysterious" fainting spell.
3) Wayne's World - Lil' Wayne shifts a whopping 1 million units in one week.
4) Wake Up, Mr. West! - Kanye doesn't show up at Bonnaroo until 4:30am.
5) Sara Smiles - Newly remarried country star Evans finds happiness again with husband #2.
6) Snoop's Wife Hitting The Gin & Juice? - Mrs. Dogg is arrested on drunk driving charges.
7) Jeezy Jailed - Rapper Young Jeezy is nabbed for a DUI.
8) Viva La Plagiarism? - Coldplay are accused of stealing another band's song.
9) The Kid's Not All Right - Kid Rock is hospitalized for dehydration.
10) Not-So-Great Dayne - Taylor Dayne pleads no conteat to reckless driving charges.
"We totally refute their claims, and there are two facts that make it easy to disprove them," said a spokesman for the band. "First, on the night in October when the band say Chris Martin was watching them, he was actually working at the Air Studio in London, and we can prove that. Second, even if he had been at the gig, Viva la Vida was written and demoed seven months before the night in question, so it couldn't possibly have been copied."
Ceaky Boards should really be concentrated on making better selling music then Coldplay instead of causing problems....
maybe slightly the same, but nowhere near plagiarism