Music Blogs

Well, it looks like Guy Ritchie has come into a nice chunk of change, conveniently just in time for the last-minute holiday shopping season. Because what's the gift that keeps on giving...and giving...and giving? Alimony from Madonna, of course! Yes, this week the ex-Ritchies issued a statement announcing they've reached an undisclosed financial agreement in their divorce; the Associated Press subsequently reported that Madonna will pay Guy somewhere between $75-92 million. Considering that Madonna's 2008 "Sticky & Sweet" Tour alone grossed $91 million, this probably wasn't as big a financial blow to her Gaultier-designed pocketbook as it would be for, say, the average divorcee. And as for Guy, this means he earned about $9-12 million per year of marriage to the Material Missus. So it's no wonder that the former couple's statement declared that they were both "happy" with the settlement, then.

Having just as busy and productive week was Axl Rose, whose long-awaited but ultimately short-on-good-songs Guns N' Roses comeback album, Chinese Democracy, hasn't exactly landed on many holiday-gift wishlists (or best-of-2008 critics' lists, for that matter). Perhaps that explains why the normally reclusive rocker was in such an agitated state when he posted an uncharacteristically rambling rant on the official GNR website this week. A 4,584-word "open letter" addressing all sort of Guns-gossip "fallacy and fantasy"--which he said couldn't be published until now because it "could have jeopardized whatever nonsense was going on"--the blog covered such hot topics as his split from Slash (Axl claimed the ex-GNR axeman willingly handed over rights to the band's name); the blogger who just pleaded guilty to leaking Chinese Democracy online; why it took so long for Chinese Democracy to come out; and the overall evolution, or de-evolution, of GNR.

"I don't see myself as solely Guns, but I do see myself as the only one from the past making the effort to take it forward whether anyone approves or not and giving beyond what many would or fight for to do so...I don't feel any reason whatsoever I should have to throw what I've not only worked for but fought and suffered for away because some hurt, angry, betrayed, misguided and lied to people with a lynch mob mentality, joined by others who could care less (especially in the media), enjoying the controversy and hate, choose one over the other regardless of what's right because they want what they want," Axl wrote ever so succinctly.

Er...okay, then. Hopefully this media report on Axl's e-tirade, the very report you are reading right now, won't inspire another rant. But if it does, we'll surely write about it!

Kanye West is no stranger to issuing loose-cannon quotes himself (remember his furious blog after the Bonnaroo debacle?), but this week the famously and infamously mouthy rapper tried a more genteel and humble approach with the press. He reportedly told the U.K.'s Mirror that he's "going to go and take an internship and just do something that's like completely normal, and just rap at the weekends or something." Um, yeah, RIGHT. And Axl's going to put out the Chinese Democracy follow-up in 2009. too. We'll believe it when we see it.

Another urban music A-lister with anger-management issues, Akon, also made headlines this week when he finally 'fessed up in court that he did indeed throw a teenager offstage at an upstate New York concert last year. Wow, that's really big of him to admit to doing something that THE ENTIRE WORLD SAW ON YOUTUBE ABOUT 2 MILLION TIMES. Guess it was hard for him to plead "not guilty" with evidence like that floating around on the interweb, huh? Akon's honesty will be rewarded by a complete lack of jail time; instead he will just perform 65 hours of community service and pay a $250 fine in this asault case.

Another troubled music star unfortunately making news this week was country singer Mindy McCready, who topped off what's been a very difficult year--and, come to think of it, a very difficult life--by seemingly attempting suicide. After Mindy made a suspicious phone call to her mother saying "she had seen her angel baby," her worried mom asked Mindy's brother, Timothy, to check on her. Timothy then reportedly found Mindy in bed, "very intoxicated" from pills and her wrists slit, in what appeared to be yet another suicide attempt by the long-suffering country star. (She did a stint in rehab this past July, and served 30 days in jail in October, so 2008 has definitely not been her year.) Mindy is in stable condition at Nashville's Centennial Medical Center as of this writing, and we wish her some sort of peace this holiday season and in the new year.

Another musical celeb who reportedly recently landed in the hospital was Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman and recovering drug addict Anthony Kiedis. Although the 46-year-old rocker looks amazing fit, especially after all the hard living he's done, the New York Daily News just revealed that he had a big health scare earlier this year, when years of excess caught up with him and his kidneys supposedly came close to failing. The paper reported this week that Anthony underwent kidney treatment several times at L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the summer, with one anonymous source revealing: "Anthony's health was pretty bleak. Organ failure was a possibility. There was talk of how to get him on a transplant list, to cover all the bases, but that opened up a whole new can of worms because people with histories of drug and alcohol abuse are less likely to receive the organs they need."

Anthony has been clean and sober since 2000 and now lives a vegetarian, yoga-centric lifestyle--and, like we said, he certainly looks healthy these days. Furthermore, other members of the band's camp have denied that this Daily News story is true. So we hope that, either way, Anthony enjoys good health in the coming year, and continues to wisely steer clear of the spiked egg nog and mulled wine over the holidays.

And finally, in other medical news of particular interest to rockers of all types, a team of Australian research doctors has warned that over-enthusiastic appreciation of heavy metal can result in head and neck injuries. Dr. Andrew McIntosh, biomedical and injury expert at the University Of New South Wales, sternly declared this week: "We identified a definite risk of mild traumatic brain injury from headbanging. We would suggest a proper public health warning, as for smoking." He also suggested that, as a preventive measure, concertgoing metalheads wear (get this) neckbraces to concerts if they plan to bang their heads. Wow, this could be a GREAT merchandising opportunity! After all, what hard rock fan wouldn't want to get a Metallica- or AC/DC-logo'd neckbrace for Christmas this year?

And with that handy gift suggestion, so concludes the pre-Christmas edition of That's Really Week. Happy holidays, and have a not-so-silent night.

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) The Material Girl Pays Up - Madonna will pay her ex-guy, Guy, at least $75 million.

2) McCready Gets Needy - Mindy is hospitalized after yet another suicidal cry for help.

3) Sweet Blog O' Mine - Axl Rose rants and rambles on the GNR website.

4) Konvicted! - Akon pleads guilty to assault changes stemming from last year's fan-tossing concert incident.

5) Kanye Cools Down? - West claims he wants to just be a normal person with a normal job.

6) Kiedis Not Feeling So Hot - Chili Pepper Anthony is reportedly suffering from kidney problems.

7) Taylor Swift Chases Chace - The newly single country cutie has her eye on Crawford.

8) The Big Bang Theory - Doctors' research indicates that headbanging can lead to head and neck trauma.

9) Miley Lays Down The Law - Cyrus is hired to perform at a law firm's swanky holiday party.

10) Soulja Boy Cleans Up His Act - The young rapper apologizes for his potty mouth.