June 15-22: Couples, Out Of Tune & AutoTuned
Well, it's summertime, but all throughout the music biz there is no summer lovin', and almost no one is having a blast. When it comes to pop stars' lovelives this week, the forecast is total June gloom.
The week started off with the confirmation of the long-rumored, long-expected divorce between R&B heartthrob Usher and his wife of two years, Tameka Foster. The pair's marriage got off to a rocky start right away, when their wedding was postponed due to complications with Tameka's pregnancy in 2007. And since then, they'd had to endure snarky anti-Tameka comments in the blogosphere, tabloid gossip about Usher's alleged infidelity, and Tameka's near-brush with death earlier this year after she suffered a heart attack while undergoing liposuction in Brazil.
Although Usher once famously came to his oft-criticized wife's defense during an unscripted rant on MTV's Total Request Live, he eventually gave up on the marriage, and he officially filed for divorce in Atlanta last weekend. Court records show that Usher and Tameka--who have two sons, 18-month-old Usher Raymond V and 6-month-old Naviyd Ely Raymond--were actually separated for nearly a year before filing this divorce petition, which calls the marriage "irretrievably broken."
While the Usher/Tameka irretrievable breakup has remained civil for now, this week a feud flared up between another divorcing R&B couple, Kelis and Nas. Kelis, who is currently nine months pregnant with Nas's child, claimed that her estranged husband has cut her off without a penny and, according to legal papers, is not paying any prenatal expenses. "I have run out of money," the allegedly penniless singer griped. Kelis is now asking a judge to order Nas to pay spousal support, child support, all pregnancy-related expenses, and one-half of all medical expenses after their baby is born. She also wants $3,500 for the baby nurse after the child's birth, and $20,000 for strollers, cribs, and other baby supplies.
Kelis is arguing that she is entitled to maintain the lifestyle she became accustomed to during her marriage to the hip-hop superstar; as of this writing, Nas has not yet responded.
And yet another pop couple announced their divorce plans this week: 60-year-old piano man Billy Joel and his 27-year-old third wife of five years, former Top Chef hostess Katie Lee Joel. The two so far are being quite cordial, announcing in a joint statement that they remain "caring friends with admiration and respect for each other." Let's hope such caring and admiration and respect lasts once the Joels' divorce proceedings get fully underway.
Meanwhile, while many duos were splitting up, there were other odd couples--including another one with a somewhat sizable age gap--making (hopefully) beautiful music together. Actor Mel Gibson, age 53, announced this week that his 39-year-old new (and pregnant) girlfriend, comely Russian pianist/composer Oksana Grigorieva, will soon be releasing "Say My Name"--a single featuring lyrics co-written by Mel and conveniently issued on Mel's new record label, Icon Records.
Some of the Mel-co-authored lyrics include: "I got no way back home/And every time my heart beats, it's one less that remains...The future contrives to draw me in its wake/I'm not afraid of leaving, if I know why and when/I'll have to walk a few more miles before you say my name again/My name again." What do these lyrical couplets reveal about Mel and Oksana's new, often tabloid-scrutinized union? We'll let you be the judge.
And finally, the other odd couple of the week was...Taylor Swift and T-Pain. No, the country ingénue and AutoTunes rapper are absolutely NOT an item, romantically speaking...but they did pair off professionally at this year's CMT Awards (which also featured an amusing odd-couple duet between superstar country band Sugarland and '80s party-starters the B-52's). In a silly skit broadcast on the awards show, Taylor--pursuing her apparent dream of making a rap record--decked herself out with gangsta B-girl attire and a blingy grill, then rapped alongside T-Pain about her thuggish teen tales of living with her parents, baking cookies, and not owning a gun.
Does anyone even remember who won on the CMT Awards? Of course not. That's forgotten already. But the spectacle of Taylor Swift sporting a mouthful of diamond-encrusted teeth, getting AutoTuned by T-Pain? That's one memory that probably won't fade from CMT viewers' minds any time soon.
And on that (AutoTuned) note, thus concludes another weird week in music. Come back next week for more headspinning headlines!
THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:
1) Usher Says "Yeah!" To Divorce - Usher Raymond and Tameka Foster are calling it quits.
2) Kelis Gets Bossy With Nas - Claiming poverty, she demands spousal and child support from her estranged husband.
3) Billy Joel Is Movin' Out - He amicably splits from his (third) wife of five years.
4) Mel Gibson, Songwriter? - The actor is apparently collaborating on songs with his new Russian girlfriend.
5) Lindsay Lohan, Jewel In The Rough - The pop starlet is connected to an international jewel heist.
6) Adam Lambert Does Not "Want" This - An album of pre-Idol material, including a leaked single called "Want," is being released without his cooperation.
7) Father Does Not Know Best - David Archuleta's dad pleads no contest in a prostitution case.
8) Taylor Gets T-Pained - Swift's CMT Awards AutoTunes skit is the talk of Nashville.
9) Download Disaster - A jury rules against a Minnesota woman in a landmark $2 million illegal downloading case.
10) Warrant For Arrest - A former '80s hair-metal star, Jani Lane of Warrant, is arrested for a DUI.
