Music Blogs

Well, it didn't exactly boost Good Charlotte frontdude Joel Madden's punk-rock cred when it was announced a couple weeks ago that he'd knocked up his even-less-punk-than-Hilary-Duff new girlfriend, Nicole Richie. But that's nothing compared to the precipitous decline in punk status that Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz may experience soon, if there's any truth to this week's tabloid rumor that he has impregnated, and proposed to, his lip-synching, hoedown-dancing, acid-refluxing, McDonald's-terrorizing, not-at-all-plastic-surgery-having, pop-starlet paramour, Ashlee Simpson. But despite whatever fallout the main Fall Out Boy boy may suffer as result of his controversial choice of corpse bride--or that annoying little fact that publicists for both Pete and Ash have completely denied this story, damn it!--all we here at That's Really Week have to say is..."punk cred" be damned! We actually hope all this gossip is true--because if it is, then it's only a matter of time before Pete and Ashlee get their own totally awesome Newlyweds-style reality show, filled with plenty of priceless TV moments. Just imagine all the caught-on-camera domestic disputes over, say, who used up the last of the eyeliner! Yep, there may be enough television gold in such a concept to even make us forget all about elder Simpson sister Jessica's "chicken or fish?" existential quandary several seasons ago. We're setting our TiVos now...

Another hot Hollywood couple that's still going strong is DJ-about-town Samantha Ronson and actress-slash-singer Lindsay Lohan. Despite reports that their friendship is on the rocks (no pun intended...no, wait a minute, actually it's totally intended), the two have still been spotted gallivanting all over town. The only difference now, compared to the good old days when Lindsay was photographed passed-out and gaping-mouthed in the front seat of Samantha's car, is that the recently rehabbed L.Lo is currently rocking a (trend alert!) super-chic alcohol-monitoring bracelet and sipping Dasani. (No, seriously, for real this time--not vodka in a conveniently unlabeled plastic bottle, but actual H20.) Well, good for Linds. Too bad that, just as she's finally getting her act together, she got booked this week on DUI charges stemming from her car crash this past May. D'oh! Anyhoo, party-girl Samantha is so keen to prove her oft-questioned loyalty to Lindsay that she's filed a $20 million libel suit against gossip websites celebritybabylon.com and perezhilton.com, over reports that she allegedly planted cocaine in Lindsay's Mercedes in exchange for a paparazzi payoff. Sam claims the sites damaged her professional rep and exposed her to "hatred, contempt, ridicule, and obloquy" by making her appear to be a "disloyal, dishonest friend who 'sold out' and 'set up' her friend for personal financial gain." Interesting. Guess Samantha's no mean girl, after all...

And finally, since we've covered Ashlee and Lindsay already--and we're frankly just too sick of Britney to bother reporting on the new "comeback" video she shot this week--we'll end this week's report with a mention of that other infamous It-Girl, Paris Hilton. Yep, Sheriff Lee Baca must be seriously regretting his decision to spring her from the pokey early, now that news has spread that she's already met with vocal coaches and uberproducer Scott Storch in preparation for work on her much-unanticipated second album. Second. Album. Egad. Is there any way Paris can be locked up again for her crimes against thousands of victims' defenseless ears? You know, suddenly Ashlee Simpson's not looking so bad anymore...

Well, we'd like to keep reporting here, but we've got to head over to Hot Topic to check out Pete and Ashlee's registry and buy the happy couple a nice wedding gift. Maybe a his-'n'-hers set of trendy, Lindsay-popularized alcohol-monitoring bracelets? Hmmm. While we go mull that over, do remember to come back next Friday for more amusing, confusing, downright excitement-oozing music news. Until then, goodnight, and good music...

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) Ashlee Simpson To Have A Little Fall Out Boy (Or Girl)? - Rumor has it she's pregnant with Pete Wentz's lovechild.

2) One Rap Remy Ma Doesn't Want On Her Record - The Bronx MC is charged with attempted murder.

3) Samantha Ronson & Lindsay Lohan: Still BFF - The superstar DJ denies she planted drugs in L.Lo's car.

4) Kelly Rowland Too Hot For Her Own Good - She collapses from heat exhaustion onstage in Nigeria.

5) From Jailbird To Songbird - Paris Hilton commits another crime against music...by announcing she's working on her second album.

6) Britney Back In The Zone - The long-absent pop star finally shoots a new video.

7) Cat Burglary - Former Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona's house is raided by armed robbers.

8) Being Bobby Brown Gets Even Harder - Now he's convinced he's being targeted by terrorists.

9) Gwen Stefani Hollas Back At Forever 21 - She sues the fashion chain for allegedly stealing her designs.

10) Killing The Fugees' Comeback Softly - Pras declares their reunion is officially "dead."

written by Lyndsey Parker 7/22/07