Sigh. Another week, another report on Britney and Amy.

Seriously, these weekly blogs are beginning to write themselves. But until that actually happens and we get our Britney/Amy Blog Generator up and running, a real-life human being still has to sift through the ashes of these two ladies' burnt-out careers and make sense of it all. It's a dirty job (and each week it only seems to get dirtier), but someone's gotta do it...

So let's start with what Amy Winehouse got up to this week. Things didn't start off too promisingly for Britain's beehived bad girl, when U.K. tabloid The Sun posted a viral video depicting her allegedly inhaling from a crackpipe. Yikes. Considering that police are planning to investigate the troubling tape; that Amy's reportedly been having difficulty securing a U.S. visa so she can perform at the Grammys on February 10; and that this cracked-out footage was supposedly shot shortly before her husband Blake Fielder-Civil's assault hearing...well, suffice to say the timing of this video was not good. Not good at all. Then again, there's never really a good time to be seen hitting the pipe, is there?

"Of course it kills me to see my daughter on the front page of your newspaper like that," Amy's long-suffering dad, Mitch Winehouse, told The Sun after this footage surfaced. "It's nothing short of devastating, thinking she wants to destroy herself. She'll be heartbroken about it all."

Clearly Amy's daddy does not think she is fine at all, despite what her anti-12-stepping anthem "Rehab" may attest. And at long last Mitch's druggy daughter may be beginning to agree with him. First, Amy did one of the few sensible things she's done in many months and--after a brief, disastrous stint as a bleachy blonde--she went back to black (black hair dye, that is). And then things got even brighter in her otherwise black world, when she finally contradicted the "no, no, no" chorus of "Rehab" and, well, checked into rehab.

"Amy decided to enter the facility today after talks with her record label, management, family, and doctors," her label, Universal Music Group, announced in a statement. "She has come to understand that she requires specialist treatment to continue her ongoing recovery from drug addiction."

Huzzah! We here at That's Really Week can only rejoice at Amy's long-overdue decision to say "yes, yes, yes" to professional help, and we hope that her road to recovery leads straight to February 10th's Grammy Awards, where she is nominated in six categories. Now that it's been confirmed that the Grammys will not be affected by the writers' strike and will continue as planned, it would be wonderful to see a cleaned-up Amy clean up at the awards show.

OK, another rehab-resistant pop star and frequent That's Really Week hall-of-shamer who likely WON'T be at the 2008 Grammy Awards is the aforementioned Britney Spears--that is, if her continued inability to make it to other important events (like, um, custody court hearings) is any indication. Plus, rumors have been circulating that Britney wouldn't even be allowed to attend the Grammys, anyway. That does seem a little extreme, but whether or not Britney has the Grammy officials on her side, she does still have a couple allies in her court (so to speak).

First, Brit's on/off pantyless party pal Paris Hilton came to her defense this week, telling E! News: "I wish the best for her and I just wish everyone would leave her alone so she could live her life. She's a great mother and a great girl and I really care about her." Well, if there's anyone who's an impeccable character witness, it's Paris Hilton, so it must be true that Britney's a fabulous mom, right? Right?

Another credible source singing Britney's praises is her new paparazzo boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib--whose wife of four years, incidentally, just filed for legal separation. (Go figure.) Anyhoo, this week Adnan told Entertainment Tonight: "A lot of people perceive to know or understand [Britney], she's the most photographed woman in the world. But if you take time to scratch the surface, then you can understand how amazing she is." We could insert some joke here about all the Britney-surface-scratching Adnan's been doing lately, but we will wisely refrain...

All right, enough about Britney, Amy, and Paris...let's talk about another It Girl, one whose career is actually on the upswing, and one who hasn't graced this column since she was seen cavorting on camera with Justin Timberlake in his supersexy "What Comes Around Goes Around" video last year. Yes, we're talking about Scarlett Johansson, whose long-rumored debut album is now officially scheduled for release. Anywhere I Lay My Head, a collection of songs penned by iconic singer-songwriter Tom Waits and featuring contributions by Brooklyn indie darlings like TV On The Radio's David Sitek and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Nick Zinner, is finally coming out May 20. Wow, with hipsters credentials like that, we've got a sneaky suspicion that Anywhere I Lay My Head is going to be a whole lot better than Paris Hilton's debut album.

And speaking of Scarlett and indie-rock, the actress kicked off her music career last year when she made a surprise appearance with the reunited Jesus & Mary Chain at California's Coachella Festival. (Amy Winehouse performed there too, at one of the few U.S. gigs she managed not to cancel in 2007.) Well, the 2008 Coachella lineup was announced this week, and it's looking pretty interesting: Pink Floyd's Roger Waters is doing a headlining set recreating all of Dark Side Of The Moon, for starters, along with other requisite retro appearances by the Breeders, the Verve, Madness, Portishead, Love & Rockets, and Kraftwerk. So, will Scarlett Johansson make a cameo during any of these Coachella sets? We'll just have to wait and see when the festival takes place April 25-27.

And thus concludes another wild, weird week in music. Do come back next Friday for more headspinning headlines (hopefully about artists other than Britney and Amy), and until then, goodnight and good music.

THIS WEEK'S TOP 10 STORIES:

1) Amy Winehouse Says Yes, Yes Yes, Yes To Rehab - After a crack-smoking scandal, the British bad girl checks herself in.

2) Dark Side Of The Desert Moon - Roger Waters is set to headline the 2008 Coachella festival.

3) The Grammys Will Go On - Striking writers promise not to picket on music's biggest night.

4) Britney Spears: She'll Always Have Paris - Heiress Hilton comes to her party pal's defense.

5) Ringo Vs. Regis - The Beatle walks off Philbin's morning talk show.

6) Scarlett, Pop Starlet - Hopefully Tom Waits' music won't be lost in translation on Scarlett Johansson's covers album.

7) The Dark Knight - Hip-hop mogul Suge Knight is named by police as a member of a notorious L.A. gang.

8) Busta Rhymes Busted - The rapper is sentenced to community service on two assault charges.

9) Nate Dogg Suffers Stroke - Luckily, the hip-hop star is recovering nicely.

10) Lil Wayne's Borderline Bust - The rap star is arrested after Border Patrol officers allegedly find drugs on his tour bus.